Upset
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How I learned that God doesn't exist.

I saw that human life can just be squashed.

It disgusts me. And it continues to happen every day.

Something that my human brain sees as precious and valuable is so easily disposable.

There is no inherent importance in what we percieve as irreplaceable. Our brain sees patterns in the sea of randomness. This includes life and consciousness.

How can there be a God if all this is true?
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I don't see anything here that contradicts the existence of The Creator. You had a bunch of thoughts and somehow think your thoughts should dictate whether The Creator exists or doesn't exist.

His existence doesn't have anything to do with you. It's the other way around.