Do you ask God / Universe for help?

I have for years, Even though I'm agnostic. Today I felt low and sad... because let's face it, it's hard always being positive when you're jobless, afraid to date/ love, and have PTSD as well. Life becomes hollow and sometimes, hopeless.

So today I asked for help from a higher power. But I thought, those girls in Texas, plus many others all just died, suddenly and fast and horribly. How could a higher power help ME when they were not helped?? You wonder what right you have sometimes asking... And you wonder, why weren't they helped too?? Life is magical and beautiful.. but, it's solemn and unfair too😢