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God wants a 'Relationship'?

Over the years, mainly online, I've come across many Christians who have said that "God wants a relationship with you", or words to that effect. Um... excuse me? What? Seriously?
Now maybe my inability to understand this idea is due to the fact that when it has come to relationships in real life I haven't exactly been all that successful, or it could simply be that I'm just not interpreting correctly whatever it is they're trying to tell me, and the message is going right over my head, or in some other way getting scrambled.
However, assuming that they actually mean what they say, and they mean it [i]literally[/i], I have to admit that this makes no sense whatsoever, and is, quite frankly, rather naive, narcissistic and rather bizarre. The creator of [i][b]the entire universe[/b][/i] (i.e. all of reality as we know it) wouldn't care about the minor details to the extent that He (or She - whatev) would stoop so low as to, for example, answer prayers.
I mean, seriously, do you care about the ants on the concrete you walk all over when you're on your way to the local shops? Does a microbiologist want a "relationship" with the microbes under his or her microscope?
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Muthafukajones · 46-50, M
To say that god wants or needs anything from us is complete blasphemy. God is the beginning and the end. The creator of everything. The Christian god as I understand is a loving and gentle god… we are not ants… we humans no matter our race or beliefs even those who deny his existence are his beloved children. God will bring good things into your life if you will seek god out. God will make the best of the most horrible situations. God will speak to the heart of the most evil and vile and hopeless. God will grant mercy to those who do not deserve it. God is unexplainable and wonderful beyond description.

Do not be deceived by those who misunderstand god or those who claim to understand god perfectly.

If anyone will open their heart to god and trust that god alone will love them and guide them and save them they will find a comfort and peace and everlasting life.

I am a scoundrel and continue to sin… I have made many mistakes… and if I can write words like these without preparation what other explanation can their be that among my many wrongs mistakes and poor choices I have heard if not completely listened or understood the intention of god.