What do you think ?

I believe that you can get a spiritual experience if you end up in a relationship . At the start where everyone is happy I'm happy She's happy everything is going well .
Your spirit feels free .
Do you agree That's the start of the relationship.
Give or take.
After awhile reality kicks in . Arguments .
( Doing the thinking on your own . Is she leaving ? Will she leave ? She don't have much interest in me . She's going to leave for someone else . He's make her laugh more . All that thinking on your own)
Is that then where doubt creeps in .
You end up insecure . She ends up insecure . No talk .
Holding resentments . Passing remarks .
( That's the cycle then for a couple of years )
Break up Break up Break up .
haLeft very resentful . Left very bitter . Left very hurt .
Left very alone . Missing her . Thinking of her .
Still on your own .
The moral of the story through all of the lack of communication in relationships but isn't it true what your looking for isn't it at the start of the relationship where you got a spiritual awaking that you felt free inside you for once in all your life .
Isn't it the spiritual awaking you were looking for was the freedom from the thinking.
And also isn't it true that you know God exists when your in the relationship at the start cause you don't question the relationship.
I'm after sharing you this story .
Tell me what you think

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JollyRoger · 70-79, M

I think you have put much good thought into how "people" think. The one word that I find missing in your explanation and which (I feel) makes and breaks relationships is the word
"Selfishness". That word relates to our ego (those thoughts you describe about seeds of distrust). If we think of what we are missing by being committed to (only) one person then we are trying to control that person and when you try to control something then you are 'bending' it to your own Will. If you allow another person to 'be' then you will see them trust you: That trust is what engenders them to want to remain with you BECAUSE you do let them "BE" and live their life as they envision it.
A thought to remember: We enter relationships because we are searching for 'something' that we think will enhance our 'self'. We see that in the 'other' we are choosing and we hope they will show us how they attained that 'something' that we crave. NO person is 'complete'.... we all search to improve ourselves. On that basis the 'other' in our relationship has a craving to learn what we have to offer to them. It's 'symbiotic', it is good!
Bottom line: Let the 'other' person learn from you and 'become' what they want to be: Don't try to mold them into what you want them to be.

Kygirl · F

@JollyRoger

Great post

shakemeup · 36-40

My thought is that I don't think it's a good idea to compare a relationship with one's partner to a "relationship with God". That seems like an impossible expectation. People can only be true to themselves, for better or worse.

People are people. And nothing is ever going to be ideal,. but we can try to reach to make things better, and sometimes some people don't try for that and things don't work out. And sometimes you have to make peace with things being less than ideal and with working towards something better. or peace with things having an end. idk.

I am sorry that your relationship didn't work out.

riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

@shakemeup Thank you .
Your on the ball there about comparing your relationship to God .
See I know now where I'm wrong and you said it don't worship ideals .
Your self esteem be shattered then when it won't work out .
Thank you for that .
See I didn't realise it and not being selfish but I put other people above me all my life and got no where especially with self esteem issues and I think people sensed that from me and left me open to be vulnerable .
I'm asking you now what do I have to do from a women's point of view .
I always wondered in my personality was I kind of was I self seeking cause the majority of my life I'm after ending up in pain.
A friend of mine said me before , pain is a warning sign

shakemeup · 36-40

@riseofthemachine

what do you have to do from a women's pov?

Why do you have to do anything?

Real love is unconditional. You can't earn it or gain it by anything you do. It means someone needs to like you for who you are and not what you do for them.

Then being in a relationship is a two way street. It means both people need to be willing to act as team and want it.

All you have to do is be true to yourself and try to do right by others and find the right people to be around you rather then people who will use you.

And I think self esteem and life slowly will get better

You mentioned putting other people higher then yourself. Don't forget to do right by yourself as well. It's ok to draw boundaries for yourself. Happiness for yourself is important.

You're always going to feel a little off if you're dependent on making others happy all the time for self esteem and lose your own sense of self.

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