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Seems obvious somehow but I havent understood till now

It occurs to me now that emotional connections to other people could depend (perhaps 'should' depend) on [i]their[/i] feelings towards [i]you[/i], and not the other way around.
Thinking about others before ourselves when making relationships is harder than it should be a lot of the time.
I think my default is to judge someone and decide if I like them based on that judgement, but that's the wrong way to make connections with people. You get to know a person and you come to learn of their thoughts towards you (and all other things) and their feelings about you (and all other things), and you love them based on that.
They do the same for you, they don't judge you and they love you based on what you love and what you love about them.
You can only get to know a person through love.
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Wiseacre · F
Everyone judges whether they admit it or not..it's what humans do.