Interested in death

Hiii people from this amazing site!
I tried to find help in myself for this thing,but i couldn't do it alone,so i am here.
I know that the title is really strange,but let me explain it.
When i was a 18 years old,i had a car accident,and from this moment my whole life was changed.I became interested in death and i read so many information about dead people...I am more interested in spiritual world,than this whole world,where i live and i am scared.
I even can't wait to go there,i don't care about this world now and the life,because here people are not good and just...i don't belong here anymore.
And it is so bad and sad,because i am young person and i am so interested in death,that i can't explain. I am interested in dead people,dead celebrities,and such things.I even talked with person,who helped me go back to my previous life and i thought that this could help and will stop my interest,but it didn't happen.In fact it grows every day and i don't know what to do.So,please if someone knows why this is happening and what to do,please write me!I am happy even to share with you my thoughts!
Be happy,dear people!

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Adstar · 56-60, M

Wow i have a similar history to you Katia.. Not exactly the same, but similar..

I had a near death experience when i was in a car accident when i was 20 years old.. I was riding my bicycle home from work and i got hit by a car and seriously injured and got an ambulance ride to hospital.. It took me 3 months to mend enough to return to work..

Anyway going through a near death experience does change out world view completely.. realizing that you nearly died does focus the mind to start to think about life and this world and whats it all about..

Yes once you are forced to think about this world and the way it is you come to realize just how terrible this world is and just how faulty people are ( including oneself ).. That's when the seeking for greater meaning and hope starts..

My seeking lead me to God.. Through the Lord Jesus Christ.. Yeah i did for a short time get into New Age philosophy for a short time.. But thanks be to God i found His message and His way that Gave me hope and assurance in a world with no hope or any assurances..