What can I do to help my parents stop worrying about my faith? [Spirituality & Religion]

I was raised atheist, by atheist parents. Recently, fortunately, I've come to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. My parents do not like that. They are geniunely afraid I'll end up in a cult because of my belief in God.

What can I do to make it easier for them? I don't want to compromise my Christian values (even though it's not like they cause conflicts with their lifestyle that much anyway), but I don't want them to worry so much about me, there's simply no need for it.

I've been trying to act lovingly and acceptingly towards them even when we argue about faith, which seems to work. Any further advice?

Similar personal experiences are also welcome.

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Melpomene · 22-25, F

I was raised by parents that "respect tradition" (we used to celebrate Christmas, Easter.. with a nicer lunch + gifts for the kids) but when I was a kid (around 10 or 11) I started going to church, praying, going to our religious classes in school etc. Even though they weren't scolding me, they did think I'm being a bit too much religious and Mum even called me a "religious fanatic" due to me being curious and researching about different religions. Early, I learnt not to talk much about it because, by our beliefs, religion is an individual choice and we shouldn't force our beliefs onto someone else. I wasn't causing any problems, they knew where I was on Sundays and the only "problem", if I can call it that way, would be my Mum forcing me to eat because I haven't told her I'm fasting and me stopping my fast because I didn't want her to feel bad and I knew she put a lot of effort. Nowadays, they seem more open to it, but I still tend to discuss it only when (and if) they ask me something about it, or if the conversation is going in that direction of course. When I'm home, I tell them when I'll be preparing my own meals and ask if anyone wants to make them the same thing (not forcing them to fast, I learnt to cook because I needed it for my fasting and sometimes I can make something very good so I ask them if they want the same for breakfast/lunch/dinner). Not sure if this helps though 😅

Boallods · 26-30, M

@Melpomene It does, and thank you for sharing your story. Myself, I talk with my parents of pretty much no serious topic. We are all stubborn, so you figure out how it can go. But they always seem to be the ones starting the discussion about faith. I don't initiate it, like, ever, for I know which consequences may ensue.

Plus, if I did talk with them of the Christian faith in depth, some beliefs, when proclaimed (e.g. that we are called to eat His flesh and drink His blood, that we are the Limbs of God, etc) would definitely make them send me to a shrink.

Melpomene · 22-25, F

@Boallods I tend to avoid to indulge in any discussion that I know I have different opinionated people that might "attack" me for whatever reason they have as it looks like most of them don't care about any thoughts I or someone else might have, but they simply want to prove their point or at least disregard someone else's. Not to mention, it's hard to explain religion to someone yet someone who stays close-minded, has little to no information about it or even wants to mock it (I've seen some atheists do it, not saying that your parents would)...it's easier to let them believe (or not) in what they want and avoid anything that might cause an argument.
I don't know how it's for you (my parents are in a way keeping up with the tradition and accepted me being religious as behaviour that is not quite normal but still praised in the society - which was a big plus for me) and so far we never had a real argument, it was mostly about us disagreeing - I wouldn't seek for many reasons why and how something happened because it would make sense to me however I wouldn't really know how to explain it to someone who doesn't believe in the same thing as I do (though I would found online answers that I needed and that would most of the time, if not always, confirm my opinion) and they would be "that's not logical" and then they would search for a scientific explanation of why or how something happens.

Boallods · 26-30, M

@Melpomene I hope to do research in evolutionary psychology one day, and have used evopsychology in my work. I see no point where science and faith would collide. "Scientia" means "knowledge", and if someone believes knowledge is contrary to faith - then he doesn't really believe.

They know I'm scientifically oriented. I'm certain about doing a PhD in psychology. And yet...

My society is dominantly secular, so I can't hope on gaining points there, either. They tell me I should "fit in".

I know my parents want the best for me; but they see the best of me in atheism. Consequently, their approach cannot be open-minded.

They didn't "mock me"... Though my father, having heard me saying I believe in an afterlife, openly said something along the lines of: "I'm sorry you weren't there when we were moving the dead body of your [long diseased] grandfather, you'd see what your "afterlife" is like".

Call it what you want. God forbid.

Melpomene · 22-25, F

@Boallods that's because you don't see it now. The problem is there are more religions and different views in this world. Who is rightful enough to decide what's correct and what's wrong? Of course we will all stand by our beliefs. Scientia means knowledge and knowledge means something that's investigated and understood. Faith means you absolutely believe in something and you know it's right even if you can't explain it.
So what if it is? What's stopping you from "fitting in", if that's what you want?
Well, it looks like you weren't exaggerating when you said all of you are stubborn. They want the best for you because you're their child. Once they see you're you and not in a cult...they should understand, right?
That's because we see it differently from atheists.
I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you so...uhm, upset by them not accepting you? Are they pushing you that much?

Boallods · 26-30, M

@Melpomene What stops me fron fitting in? Both my personality and my faith. I abominate popculture. I watch no movies, listen to religious music, I make no sexual or foolish jokes, etc, you see what I mean. I don't wanna fit in. Did Jesus want us to fit in? No. He knew the world would hate us.

Even though they'd see I'm not in a cult know, they'd still say I will be, one day. It's vain.

Who's right to determine what's correct? Lord our God is. Obviously.

No, I don't mind you asking at all. In fact, thank you for your interest.
I care for three reasons: 1) I live under their roof (for now), and therefore under their rules. If they wish to ban me from meeting my friends etc, they can. 2) I love them; so I don't want them to worry. 3) The Fourth Commandment tells us to honor our parents. Their being the way they are makes it harder for me to fullfil this Commandment.

I don't care equally as much if the unfaithful accept me or not. The faithful do, and that's what's important to me. This could be the wrong attitude - I'm not necessarily endorsing it - but that's just who I am.