This may be my best song yet ...

This song I completely stole the intro idea from a really popular band and popular song.
See if you can figure out which one it was.

PoetryNEmotion actually wrote the poem I used in this from an idea I had.
I think this may be the best one I have done yet.
I had this idea that the first ten songs you write are going to be garbage.
So I made a bunch of two minute songs and did some lead overs for VirginMatchMaker.
They aren't horrid but they all lack stuff.
I am learning a lot more about multi-track recording on the computer and I think that is best on this one as well.
So if you would do me a solid and give my creation a listen I would welcome any criticism you may have to offer.
Also, I want to see if anyone knows what song I ripped off my intro from.
Thank you in advance.
[media=https://youtu.be/y2fTmkqz7Qg]

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PoetryNEmotion · F

I love what you did with my words! Very well done! I think in parts it is hard to hear the spoken words. And I also think that the man in the start of the video should also be the man at the end. For continuity. Otherwise, it is a great video. I would like to collaborate more with you. How is the other song coming along? This is so freaking cool, my friend! Let's do more! Your gift is apparent.

I have returned. Thought more on this song. I like the beginning. The man shows his desperation. Your words added to mine and they give punch to the song. Here is a suggestion to add to the reality of the horror of the too constant shootings of innocent people by those who consider themselves victims. You could research the mass shootings. Take the photos of those killers. Insert them into the video. Towards the end. Show that this is real and horrifying. At the end, take the photos of the aftermaths. High school students being escorted out of schools. The panic. The horror. The police moving in is a good part in the video. It shows that people respond to handle the danger. Show the killers being arrested is good too. Shows that justice will handle them. I do not know if showing the faces of those victim's families would be too much. It shows that the killing sprees have long term consequences. Your display of the one guy at the end was good. To connect this to real people is beneficial.

I must say I am more than pleased with your video. I do not know about your other videos. I do know that together, you and I, can do more and better. People have said before that I have the ability to make music. I just needed someone who was a musician to work beside me. Please consider doing this on a regular basis. I am happy to have met you here. And I anticipate the other song will be fine too. Thank you from my heart, K. You have come into my life for a reason. And I am happy to collaborate on this and on more. Here's to a long future with benefits for my creativity and for your talent. Blessings. Respect too. Poe aka Cynthia.

I like the beginning. I like the end. The words are hard to distinguish though. I am happy and excited about this! Wow!

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@PoetryNEmotion Thank you for so much.
First for the comment and input.
One of the things I am working on is the vocal aspect of the music.
I don't consider myself a singer by any stretch, just using what I can muster to fill the gap I need filled. LOL
But one thing is working on enunciating so it sounds clear but natural.
It has been brought up several times when I don't put the subtitles in the video.
But I am working on a lot of aspects with each song.

I very much so look forward to doing more projects with you.
I love having access to material and topics. It makes half the song.

Yes it would be nice if I could get matching footage for the videos but I am kind of stuck with
the free video footage I can use without copyright claims.
I did find the shooter footage at the 11th hour on YouTube and it felt right.
It was 20 tips on how to survive an active shooter.

We will be working a lot together. :-)

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Dainbramadge I am so delighted. If you want access to many more of my creations on another site, let me know.

Or message me ideas. I can spin from one word, a sentence, an idea, literally anything.

I am excited! Thank you!

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

I don't really have an ear for instrumentals so that aspect sounds generic to me but I only have one real correction. When the instructional video first comes on it obscures the lyrics. Other than that I think the tweaking you need to do is simple stuff I'm sure you're aware of like trying to use too many words to say something in an amount of time.

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@Jackaloftheazuresand Thanks for the input. :-)

kodiac · 22-25, M

AWESOME JOB !!!

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@kodiac Thanks so much. :-)

SW-User

Wow dude. Very well done. Awesome song writing and the video is very professionally done. Rock on, brother.

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@SW-User Always love to hear from you brother. :-)
Thank you.

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