My Wife, My Abuser

I hope that Channel 5 progam will cause those misandrists, who claim only men can be abusers and only women can be victims of domestic abuse, with rethink their position. At least the authorities in some areas are starting to take female on male domestic abuse seriously.

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Philth · 46-50, M

Well overdue.
As an autistic I've had my fair share of grief from women over the years, some of which has been because they're genuinely misinterpreting stuff, but in other situations, consciously, deliberately misinterpreting stuff to manipulate, exploit, control, or as an avenue to 'kick the cat' of their own unresolved issues.
I found the 'metoo' campaign to be used as a particular pulpit for man-bashing: people who claim to advocate for equality were arguing that the campaign should only be about exploitation of *women* by peers in the workplace, not about anyone so affected. Could you imagine the outrage if the authorities decided to only focus upon knife or gun crime amongst certain ethic groups?
The image attached illustrates just one of my particular difficulties : As an autistic I struggle with the unwritten social rules when it's best to use "woman / lady / girl / lass" etc and am so exhausted from being hit out at for getting it wrong that I've defaulted to what is in my eyes, the last emotive term... But there's people poised, ready to attack. Even when I've pointed out my challenges, she continues to attack... Would she use the example of one 'wrong' word to demonise a person from another country who was struggling with an unfamiliar language? Hell no. Clearly, a potential abuser.

Sharon · F

@Philth In the eyes of some females, anyone who isn't a misandrist is a misogynist. We're not all like that though.

Philth · 46-50, M

@Sharon a friend of mine who lives in a safe, low crime rural area says she is often labelled by other women as a misogynist - because she says she doesn't feel unsafe being out on her own when during darkness, doesn't feel threatened by men.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Philth You know that people can only get to you if you let them, right???

I also tend to avoid labels such as "misandry" and "misogyny" - because I can guarantee that 9 times out of 10, they're wrongly applied. They don't really take into account something that is clearly poorly explained because an autistic person doesn't have the words to say it in a way that is more easily understood.

Sharon · F

@Philth I've been called a misogynist and "a traitor to the cause/women" for saying that men can be victims of female perpetrated domestic abuse.

Philth · 46-50, M

@HootyTheNightOwl on the face of it you make a good point. No, I'm not bothered that some random person I've not met has said something nasty. That screenshot though is excellent illustration of the sort of encounters I experience on a regular basis - some of which result in various allegations. That shit gets tiring, mud sticks, it cost me my last job and makes like difficult within the community I live. Do you see?

HootyTheNightOwl

@Philth I understand more than you think. I've been there, too... I have lost jobs because I was too truthful - and I refused to be bullied.

I'm on the cusp of moving to a new place in a city where I'll have more opportunities than I've had here in town for most of my life. I'm looking forward to a future where I can be my own boss and I get to be who I am instead of being what someone else wants me to be.

I want a less formal work life for myself and others who may work with me and an environment where honesty is valued but without bullying that I've endured. Autistic people don't deserve to be bullied just because we are different.

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