I F You Have Something to Say, Say It to My Face

I would rather die than live a life that that wasnt true about you. I dont talk to you because its dangerous and my father threatens to cut my throat... that your well that and that his role in life is pretty much that doesnt exist and is wrong. But see i grew up with someone who was that for themself and unfortunately that person was a monster. But its not my job to have an opinion of that in someone though i was always made doubt because of the things the person did to me and other people. Its always getting over that person. That he doesnt understand and that i dont want to lose him but its really the fact that im always in danger any time i talk to you in my head because a lot of people around me hail the devil that you could be all that for someone else. Its pretty much looking a monster they made of me in the mirror and seeing it was to be with the angel i was ... seeing the angel oposite of the person they try to make of me and pull me apart saying it has to be true for her... the devil and different people in hitler see this and pretty much say im a joke. its honestly it that i feel pretty inferior for someone who could not give that to you most of my life and its pretty much a joke. .... that its a crusifiction of me with the burning of an upsidown cross and the attempt to disinigrate light. i feel unworthy because ive dated alot when you have not. its it that i pretty much met the devils opion of what i mean to the world and the sexual community at a young age and their plan to murder me before i reach middle age in an attempt that alot of bad things would happen to me and their sexual desires triumph over what girls dont get because their in the world.