Can you trust the other person in your romantic life to be faithful to you always?

And not cheat or sleep around or have affairs or do Onlyfans or have secret dating site profiles or similar?

Unfortunately, I cannot. This is probably one reason I don't feel I can ever do romantic relationships again because a partner 'showing up' as a wife in my life (or wife-like if not married) would always be suspiciously too 'convenient' for me to afford full unwavering dedicated trust without a doubt in my mind that she is 100 percent there for me and only for me.

That said, I've got no experience creating that kind of bond successfully and maintaining/sustaining it without a whole series of mis-steps causing it to fall apart after a time.

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Nightwings · F

What if I told you the issue doesn't lie with trust, but with fear? You feel like you need to know that they won't hurt you, but you can never know for certain. I don't think my partner will ever cheat on me because he never gave me reason suspect that. But it is possible. The real question is what happens if he does? Will it kill me? No. Will I be sad? Yes. Will I eventually be able to move on? Also yes. Life goes on. It seems to me that most people who are very worried about getting hurt, feel as though the betrayal will cost them their life, even if they know that's not the case logically. You have to let go of that fear in order to trust someone, because trust is not about them, it's about you. You have to trust that whatever happens, you will be okay. That is what trust really is, and I feel like this surprises a lot of people. You cannot control other people's actions, you can only control your own reactions to them. All you can do is choose a person who doesn't give a reason to doubt them, and the rest is on you. Trust is actually a choice you make, it's not something that anyone else can give you.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@Nightwings FUD - Fear Uncertainty and Doubt - things that totally dominate my feelings about intimate romantic relationships combined with how I feel marriage is a toxic concept (based on my parents divorce in 1980 and my shit childhood around that).

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

I always did. And never had a doubt..😷

cherny

In this day and age if I was single I'd stay that way until I die

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

Romance is an illusion. Live for the moment, because tomorrow doesn't exist.

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