I Believe People Come Into Your Life For a Reason

There was a guy who was my best friend who stole a bunch of money from me. I battled with anger issues for a long time over him. I still have trust issues. But I think he was sent to help me grow as a person. I don't have the same relationship i had with money now. And I'm starting to grow more and more. I'm not perfect, but losing a bunch of money may have been good for me.

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bijouxbroussard · F

I suppose that's one way to look at it. Another is that you were conned by a scumbag, which happens to most of us at some point, when we trust. It doesn't make us bad for trusting, or ennoble them as "teachers" of some cosmic lesson. 🤔

JThomp035 · 41-45, M

@bijouxbroussard: I feel like holding onto the anger, embarrassment, and guilt of the situation was unhealthy though. I felt so bad about myself that i allowed someone to take advantage of me the way he did.

bijouxbroussard · F

@JThomp035: But in looking at it as you having "allowed" it, you blame yourself and absolve him of the responsibility of his dishonesty. Forgive, with the understanding that he was weak by betraying a friend. You were not weak by being one. 😕

JThomp035 · 41-45, M

i didn't for a long time. but i realized that the longer i blamed him completely and took no responsibility for any of the actions the healing would never happen. I had to realize I allowed myself to be taken advantage of and I was responsible for that. I'm not sure why someone would hurt their friend like that so i can only imagine that he must have been going through a lot of pain as well.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@JThomp035: Drug addiction, or problem gambling are the usual reasons. It's great that you have decided to focus on the learning side of this--I call it paying tuition in the School of Hard Knocks--but please don't forget who the bad guy was here, and then give him another chance to rip you off. If he apologizes, set up a reasonable repayment plan for him.

One more thing you could do for yourself that will really help your learning curve when it comes to recognizing bad people and situations before they can hurt you. Read this book:

The Gift of Fear
by Gavin DeBecker

This book will not bore you. And it could save your life. It's a classic now, and it's well worth the time to read it.

JThomp035 · 41-45, M

@greenmountaingal: I ll check that out. I try to read at least one book a week and am always looking for books that help me grow.

I'm guessing it was drug addiction that caused him to steal. He had previous addiction issues but was supposedly clean. After stealing the money I was never able to get in touch with him. He threatened calling the police on me through text message if I tried to contact him. I went to his house several times to try to talk to him. He would not come to the door. My lawyer said likely if I got a judgement against him he'd prob never pay the money back anyway as it was prob gone. So I d just be of the legal fees as well.

Chanel · 61-69, F

I know a woman who got conned out of a quarter of a million. The guy at first spent money on her and her friends.

It was years later that she had a breakdown over it. These scum bags have a lot to answer for.

You are wiser now and I wish you all the best.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

At least you are looking at the brighter side of a bad situation. We could all learn to be this way at times

Jax316 · F

How did he manage to steal your money?

JThomp035 · 41-45, M

@Sunshineh13: we started a business together and he was in charge of the accounting. all of the money i invested in the business i trusted to him.

JThomp035 · 41-45, M

have you ever been hurt by someone who you thought was your best friend? It really messes with your head

Quizzical · 46-50, M

@JThomp035: Hell, I've never heard of an accountant that DIDN'T embezzle funds...

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