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How long do you think of them?

You probably have someone in the past you loved a lot, but eventually realized ( for whatever reason) this person wasn't yours to have, and it ended. Normal.

I'm always surprised that years can pass without too much thought about it, you are living a full life with new great stuff in it,and then suddenly you miss them.

How long do you think about the ones you leave behind?
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Forever.
Especially when they kept you captive in a nuclear family for twenty years, hung their own name on you and then kicked you to the curb and maintained that you deserve to die, poor and alone.
You know - Family.
I still talk and look like him. He's always in my memory. Every Christmas there's no room at the inn and I pictured him feasting and happy.