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I Believe People Come Into Your Life For a Reason

I met a young man on a social website and he & I fell in love after a year of friendship. For an additional year, he and I committed to a long distance relationship with plans to one day meet.... well, I don't know what pulled us apart. He became very distant and disconnected with me which became very frustrating. I tried to be patient and understanding but his relentless moodiness was overwhelming... I broke it off w him a few times because I felt there was no way to regain what we had. At the end, he would continue to communicate by poking in and saying hi and starting small meaningless conversations but it was pointless. The hope of meeting him fizzled away... he wouldn't answer the phone when I would call and would avoid questions... out time differences are by 10 hours, so when I call or message it was timed so that it was at a decent hour for both of us.... finally, I made a move. I went out for a coffee date with someone that my friend set up. She had been trying to convince me for a long time to move on from "him" & I couldn't. One day I took a chance. I wanted to see if I was ready to move on because it was going nowhere with "him"... i met the other fellow but I was not in the moment. I was wishing I was meeting "him" for the first time at coffee... I couldn't stay. I went home and cried myself asleep. Of course I told him... he was angry; but I needed to shake him up. If he isn't here for me like I need him, then one day I may receive someone else who cares...... I had been honest with him. I never lied to him about anything. He's told me about times he'd been to dinner with females and when I'd get upset, he would "put me in my place" like it isn't a big deal "I can take her out if I want to".... I don't even know why I stayed around after that f'ing bashing...... but I guess he convinced me enough that they where "friends"...
anyway, I wonder about him..... I can't stop missing him. But logically, I figure, I only miss what I can't have & that is what I have never "had"....
he is in the Middle East and I am in the United States... I will not travel to see him. There's no point. I guess I will continue my life into death wondering what it could have been.....
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Yes, I'm finally coming to the realization of it all. I was so immersed in the relationship that I never thought it would end. I was my best and I loved someone from a different angle... it wasn't a sexual attraction.. it was more... he and I didn't really meet for a year after our friendship began. We Skype for the first time after a year and sparks flew when we set eyes on each other... it was like I was finally linked together with my other half.... it was something I had never experienced before in my life.

Now that I'm head above water..., I have been battling with the acceptance... he came into my life for a reason... he had been the holder of my mind, heart and soul & now I have to pick up the pieces and get to a place in life where I can trust again...

Thank you for your comment :>
@OWTFWN: i really appreciate your words of knowledge. I have to admit, I am from the generation that is not as dedicated to proving rather than saying. it's sad. this is my reality. :)
'pre-historic'.. hahaha, you're in my eyes and mind "wise". thank you for shining your wisdom upon me :)

He taught me good lessons, hence why he came into my life for a reason
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@OWTFWN: that's number one~ Chivalry...
i'd like to learn how to take the back seat to appreciate that..
rottenrobi · 56-60, F
Hmmmm, I can relate to this very much. Online relationships are very real, and then they're also not real at all. It's a painful lesson, and one I'm still getting over as well. Sorry you are too.
Florence · 46-50, F
How awful for you. I tried the internet dating thing for a year & only found chaos & disaster. Men that were still going through messy divorces but still living with the ex's, playas, possessive controlling men. I'm actually a bit disturbed by the whole experience
Florence · 46-50, F
Some women in their late 50s are fitter & have better nutrition than the under 30s therefore look heaps better these days. Although the looks might be great, it's so hard to find someone level headed, intelligent & with a good sense of humor. See how you go with her
decka1965 · 56-60, M
Hi a few weeks ago we had a discussion on the perils of internet dating, since then I have found a lovely girl. Early days but fingers crossed.
@decka1965: sounds exciting!! I hope you enjoy your new relation :>
Livingwell · 61-69, M
You hit the nail on the head. "We only want what we can't have". Being of a different culture would be very trying for you. Many are indifferent to women. Consider it a blessing in disguise. You dodged the perverbial "bullet" as they say. I wish your heart peace.
SW-User
Let go of him. U will get even better.
Faust76 · 46-50, M
Uh, judging from what you just wrote, he just could have been a jerk... Additionally, I'm not normally that concerned over cultures, but Middle East and USA woman sounds like a recipe for disaster unless they've had a chance to acclimate to western culture (or other way around). Other than that your situation sounds very much like mine, and we always colour our experiences with our own feelings, but I'm going to go on a limb and say you were lucky to get out when you did.

 
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