I Believe People Come Into Your Life For a Reason
I met a young man on a social website and he & I fell in love after a year of friendship. For an additional year, he and I committed to a long distance relationship with plans to one day meet.... well, I don't know what pulled us apart. He became very distant and disconnected with me which became very frustrating. I tried to be patient and understanding but his relentless moodiness was overwhelming... I broke it off w him a few times because I felt there was no way to regain what we had. At the end, he would continue to communicate by poking in and saying hi and starting small meaningless conversations but it was pointless. The hope of meeting him fizzled away... he wouldn't answer the phone when I would call and would avoid questions... out time differences are by 10 hours, so when I call or message it was timed so that it was at a decent hour for both of us.... finally, I made a move. I went out for a coffee date with someone that my friend set up. She had been trying to convince me for a long time to move on from "him" & I couldn't. One day I took a chance. I wanted to see if I was ready to move on because it was going nowhere with "him"... i met the other fellow but I was not in the moment. I was wishing I was meeting "him" for the first time at coffee... I couldn't stay. I went home and cried myself asleep. Of course I told him... he was angry; but I needed to shake him up. If he isn't here for me like I need him, then one day I may receive someone else who cares...... I had been honest with him. I never lied to him about anything. He's told me about times he'd been to dinner with females and when I'd get upset, he would "put me in my place" like it isn't a big deal "I can take her out if I want to".... I don't even know why I stayed around after that f'ing bashing...... but I guess he convinced me enough that they where "friends"...
anyway, I wonder about him..... I can't stop missing him. But logically, I figure, I only miss what I can't have & that is what I have never "had"....
he is in the Middle East and I am in the United States... I will not travel to see him. There's no point. I guess I will continue my life into death wondering what it could have been.....
anyway, I wonder about him..... I can't stop missing him. But logically, I figure, I only miss what I can't have & that is what I have never "had"....
he is in the Middle East and I am in the United States... I will not travel to see him. There's no point. I guess I will continue my life into death wondering what it could have been.....