I Believe People Come Into Your Life For a Reason

I am in love with a man that hates himself. He is so beautiful, everything about him. The way he speaks, his style of clothes, his uniqueness, his masculinity, his emotional side, his intelligence, and the way he views the world. He is perfect for me. And he loves me with all his being, he is so kind, patient, loving, understanding, available, willing, open, and honest. But he hates himself. He has struggled with self harm and suicidal tendencies for a very long time. I could never hate him. In fact, most of the time I don't understand how he could hate himself so much, he is such a beautiful human being in every way. I know we met for a reason that neither of us knows yet. We needed and still need eachother. Not clear the true reason...yet.

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MsDelaware · 41-45, F

I am very sorry to hear this. I assume he must suffer from depression? Some of the most wonderful people struggle with it. Robin Williams is a huge example. I really wish the best for you & your man. Maybe counseling with a professional might help? It really does sadden me to hear when depression hits some of the kindest people.

flimflam · M

I've been there, the self loathing will destroy him and you will suffer watching it. I highly recommend going at it head on NOW while he has the strength to be open minded about the reasons. It gets way harder once the depression takes hold, as it will.

Self help, CBT, a psychiatrist, counseling... Get on it now. It's a rough road but one well worth traveling when you choose and not when your mental health forces you. X. Good luck. X

SW-User

@flimflam None of her post really says the help they need can't happen later. I'm just not sure if the pressure of NOW is always the healthiest aspect. It has to happen as they let it in.

flimflam · M

@SW-User I wish I could agree, but having lost a couple of friends to suicide I'd say as soon as someone utters the words 'I hate myself' it's time to start the process.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

That's nice, I wish I could find someone whom I'd feel is beautiful in ever way as such and who would be so kind, loving and understanding..

EarthlingWise

He is a grown-up, he probably has an inkling about what makes him feel depressed. And what makes him feel better.

Peace777 · 51-55, F

There must be a reason. 🤔
If really none, ask the docs help to remove that suicidal tendencies.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

Unfortunately it can take many years to understand how in some cases.

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