My aunt is a bit harsh, isn't she?
About a month ago, I was telling her about me changing my address and not fully understanding the whole thing.
She scolded me for not knowing how to handle my business. She also told me that this proves that I'm not ready to live alone and that I'm grown enough to know how to ask about things like this.
I told her, "How am I supposed to know what to ask?" And she kept repeating the same thing about me being an adult and should know how to ask about these things.
Everything seems like an excuse to her. Even if it's the truth, it's always heard as an excuse to her.
On Friday, I went somewhere with a group of peers. I broke one of the rules that weren't even the leader's rule, but more of the park's rule, which it wasn't mandatory to follow.
After a bit of self-reflecting, I realize that I'm a people-pleaser; since I "broke" a rule that I was strickly given to follow by the group leader, I felt guilty for being disobedient since I had been respectful towards the group leader all this time until then. The staff (from the group of peers I was with), after telling them that I "broke" a rule that wasn't even ours, I was, surprisingly, scolded by them. The two staff that i was scolded by, I had gotten along with them fairly.
After that, I did not enjoy the rest of the day, particularly because I was scared of the new change that was going around ever since the new leader came aboard.
I did not complain about being scolded, as I knew I'd get some sort of scolding, but I did not expect from those two to scold.
I remember crying because my anxiety rose through the roof.
(The rule of the park was: Only Clear Bags. I had brought a mesh bag instead, knowing the park police will not give two shits. Half of the people at the park had clear bags, and the other half had non-clear bags).
I was a dumbass and told my aunt about this, thinking that she'll understand, knowing full well she will never.
Did not even say a thing about my anxiety. Did not try to comfort me in any way. All she told me that I was wrong and, "Well, sorry that you were wrong."
I know that I was wrong for being disobedient. I can't help but trust my gut every time something does not sit well with me.
My gut reassured me that it was okay to bring a mesh bag. So I listened to it like I always do. But maybe that wasn't a gut feeling. I don't really know how to describe it.
She scolded me for not knowing how to handle my business. She also told me that this proves that I'm not ready to live alone and that I'm grown enough to know how to ask about things like this.
I told her, "How am I supposed to know what to ask?" And she kept repeating the same thing about me being an adult and should know how to ask about these things.
Everything seems like an excuse to her. Even if it's the truth, it's always heard as an excuse to her.
On Friday, I went somewhere with a group of peers. I broke one of the rules that weren't even the leader's rule, but more of the park's rule, which it wasn't mandatory to follow.
After a bit of self-reflecting, I realize that I'm a people-pleaser; since I "broke" a rule that I was strickly given to follow by the group leader, I felt guilty for being disobedient since I had been respectful towards the group leader all this time until then. The staff (from the group of peers I was with), after telling them that I "broke" a rule that wasn't even ours, I was, surprisingly, scolded by them. The two staff that i was scolded by, I had gotten along with them fairly.
After that, I did not enjoy the rest of the day, particularly because I was scared of the new change that was going around ever since the new leader came aboard.
I did not complain about being scolded, as I knew I'd get some sort of scolding, but I did not expect from those two to scold.
I remember crying because my anxiety rose through the roof.
(The rule of the park was: Only Clear Bags. I had brought a mesh bag instead, knowing the park police will not give two shits. Half of the people at the park had clear bags, and the other half had non-clear bags).
I was a dumbass and told my aunt about this, thinking that she'll understand, knowing full well she will never.
Did not even say a thing about my anxiety. Did not try to comfort me in any way. All she told me that I was wrong and, "Well, sorry that you were wrong."
I know that I was wrong for being disobedient. I can't help but trust my gut every time something does not sit well with me.
My gut reassured me that it was okay to bring a mesh bag. So I listened to it like I always do. But maybe that wasn't a gut feeling. I don't really know how to describe it.
18-21, F
