Spending time trying to get to know someone only for them to leave... is it worth it?

I have nothing against them, I believe in letting people do what's best for them and letting them choose what they want even if that's doesn't include me but what am I supposed to do? I'm left with memories that weight me down, promises they couldn't keep and mixed feelings of love and betrayal for them. And no matter how much time has passed, it's still "I love you and I hope you're having a great life but I also hope to never see you again because it still pains me how much you've hurt me." and I also can't bear to see your happiness knowing you left me, cowardly and unapologetically, in my deepest moments to go and live your life and now, years later, I'm still fighting for it while you get to enjoy..
But the main question is: is it worth it? Spending time, money and energy to build a relationship, putting effort into little surprises and gifts for big days and celebrations only for it to become a bitter memory, watching you two drift apart and dreading the inevitable while also pretending you're fine and you'll be fine...only to realize it's never enough. You're never going to feel happy enough or safe enough or over it but you also can't go through life without making any relationships, can you?

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nonsensiclesnail · F

Yep.
All of those interactions help you grow. You decide in what ways by the choices you make and the people you bring into your life.

Melpomene · 22-25, F

@nonsensiclesnail Who says I made good choices?

nonsensiclesnail · F

Who says you made bad ones? @Melpomene

Melpomene · 22-25, F

@nonsensiclesnail My sensitive soul. I'm left drained like a sponge and rejected because I'm not "needed" anymore, during the time when I myself needed someone to lean on, and that wasn't just one relationship.
Now I feel unworthy and insulted for the ways I've been treated but the only reason I let them treat me that way was because I knew I'd be left all alone and I wanted to avoid that by compromising. But what's the point of that when, in the end, I've got to experience what I was fearing BUT also got the more pain than I expected?

nonsensiclesnail · F

@Melpomene Look at why you made those choices. Look at the outcome. Look at the character traits of the people you choose to be with and decide if thats the sort of person you want in your life or if maybe you need to change what you are looking for. Decide your worth, your value. If someone else can’t see it then they ar not exactly worth your time. Don’t just take what life brings to you, learn from it. Find the lessons. And dont live your life as the victim of your choices. Be the over comer, the one who fights for you. Set boundaries And know your expectations. Make them clear in your mind. You wont waste so much time with people not worthy of your time.

Melpomene · 22-25, F

@nonsensiclesnail I'm not playing the victim, I just feel hurt that I've put trust in someone who told me they'd be there for me only for them to pull away once I've needed them, because it was too much. The truth is, people change. And you never know what challenges has life prepared for you or whom it might take.