I Need to Rant

its too late.. she found someone already.. and getting engaged in next month.. I hope I die before I see that happening..

@FindRyhan: looking for someone else wont make you feel better. You need to rid yourself of this that possesses you. You can't blame her. She waited. And you continuously rejected her. It hurts. But time to let it go.
And you wont SEE her marry. YOU wont have an invitation. NOW is the time to ask yourself if this could repeat itself? Happen again? I will speak for myself. I need constant love words. I never grow tired of hearing them. Just don't be telling me MY faults. *HUGE turn off*. My own self confidence is at a low point most the time. Don't wait for me to ask you to hold me. Sure I'm in my 60's. I still remember how those 'make-out' sessions made me feel.
TALK. Talk often. Even if it's nonsense junk. It's still communication. Make up things to talk about. *What was the worst thing that happened to you in second grade.
Be silly. Laugh and make sure she laughs. Open your arms and tell her YOU need a HUG. Do things she wants to do. Ask her for suggestions...if she cannot, give her a multiple choice. *THIS* is allowing HER to decide.
YES Women have a voice, yet you aren't listening. So find ways to listen.

I said 1000 times the L word and she just said.. don't make it complex... let it me like this.. non-defined relationship and if we find someone else better then we can break off and move away.. Eventually she found someone last october and broke up with me..
Since then I am living on Bavaria and Heineken.