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Physical and verbal abuse

I've been chronically ill for way too many years despite that I've still picked myself back up and started a lvls again. One thing I've never shared or mentioned with anyone ever that my elder brother was always physically and verbally abusive to me despite of me being my own entity my own person with my 21 year life and my studies. I've hobbies I have crushes on boys. I am girl who got bullied for being a nerd. I've my own story and own presence and existence. Despite everything I was always abused. Almost since my first memory. But today was out of hand. While I was complaining to my mom that my brothers verbal abuse is getting out of hand he pulled my hair from the back dragged me from one room to another and started hitting me on my head and my face. At one point I couldn't breathe and my right eye went completely blind. He pulled out lot of my hair also. He kept saying that I'm a menace to this family and I should leave this house. He ripped all of my clothes while I was trying to get away.

The chronic illness I've is a neurological disorder. I was supposed to sit for my a lvls in 2018 but it got so bad that my brain almost stopped functioning and I had to taught myself day to day human things all over again. Like writing and walking, while are must for studying (only thing that kept me sane).

And he still kept on ripping my hair and beating me on my head.

I honestly don't know why I'm posting this where. I don't know where to go. Studying was the only thing that helped me keep going cause I wanted to breakfree from my nightmare life.
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ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
Are there women's shelters where you live? You clearly need to get out of this house where you are in grave physical as well as psychological danger.
@ServantOfTheGoddess sometimes i wanna run away to mars cause even my ex was abusive physically and emotionally. theres no womens shelter here unfortunately
@ServantOfTheGoddess i used to want to run away but now i dont care anymore i dont know why i didnt even cry. i feel numb
ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
@dragonteeth a friend you can go to? You have to get out of where you are now!
@ServantOfTheGoddess no
i think ill get murdered here