Guys are weird.

An old acquaintance kept hinting at me to catch up. But I was always too busy.

Finally, I had time and told him so. I mean, it was supposed to be a group meet-up based on the conversation.

Next thing I know, I was being asked if my boyfriend would be okay with it.

Like, come on 🙄

Why would that be a concern? It was a group meet! Also, if I do have a boyfriend, the dude wouldn't have a reason to worry. That, and the guy who asked isn't really competition material.

I'm finally seeing the woes of trying to make friends as adults. So much expectation and hidden meanings. -.-

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Nightwings · 31-35, F

I think it's so immature when people expect someone's boyfriend or spouse to have a problem with a woman talking with other people, because that means that they are controlling and immature like that themselves.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Nightwings Actually! Like what the heck? If a boy is that insecure, then he would not even be on the potential boyfriend category.

I feel attacked when my acquaintance asked me that. Like what part of me would give the impression I would choose a guy like that for a partner??

But yeah, maybe he's projecting. Anyway, no go.

eMortal · M

@Casheyane You felt insulted that he would dare think of asking you out based on how insignificant he is, or you didn't like the fact the he was doing it in a sneaky way?

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@eMortal I like a direct approach, dating wise.

But for this matter, no, I do not consider him a candidate. For me, I really just wanna spend time and talk to new faces, find people who could inspire and tickle my mind. I would not call him insignificant. But I would say I don't know him enough, and I don't know the other acquaintance we're supposed to have gone out with anymore, ergo the purpose of the catch-up.

About the guy, tbh, he is not at par with my standards of bare minimum for a person who can tickle my mind.

But having known each other long ago, even then, I would think I never gave them any reason to think I'd ever be the kind of woman who would entertain another guy like that if I am already attached.

I think he thinks too highly of himself. And by being sneaky, he unknowingly disrespected my own values.
That and I have high standards for the person I wanna date. By that standard, the insignificant may apply to the weird guy, yeah.

Nightwings · 31-35, F

@Casheyane I agree that it's insulting when people like that think you would disrespect my partner. I had guys on SW ask me why my husband is ok with me using SW, as if SW is a dating site or something? They're just showing the truth about their motives if they think chatting with them would disrespect my partner lol.

Nothing wrong with having high standards for either friendships or dating. There's a big difference between saying you wouldn't date someone, and saying they are insignificant as a person. Besides, who would want to be friends with someone who tried to trick them into a date anyways, life is too short for that nonsense.

I also think it's annoying when guys act like they want to be friends, then turn around and want something more from you.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Nightwings
Yup.

A person who knows what he/she wants would act like it. A person who knows what he/she deserves would not settle for any less.

And if the intentions are clean and sincere, then all the more reason to be direct.