I Love Meaningful Conversations

I'm horrible at small talk. I don't want to talk about the weather or what you ate for dinner. Let's get to the meat of the situation and stop wasting time with fluff. If that's all that is happening I'll fall silent and move on.

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ms20182878 · 61-69, M

So... One of your groups is "I Am Not Who They Think I Am". Care to share why that is? Are there aspects of who you are that you guard tightly... and don't let others see?

Babybear78 · 46-50, F

@ms20182878 oh of course there is! I think we all have those pieces of us we only let a few in close enough to see. To do so requires trust and I think trust is built by sharing safe pieces of ones self with another little by little. Once that person is deemed safe the deeper more personal things are shown

ms20182878 · 61-69, M

@Babybear78 Yes, it often takes time to build up the trust. Why do you think that we are so afraid of sharing initially? Do you think that we fear rejection by them? Or are we afraid that they will somehow use the information to hurt us? Any thoughts?

Babybear78 · 46-50, F

@ms20182878 I think it's just instinct, maybe not even fear? I'm not sure if have to think on it. Like.... you wouldn't trust your two year old with a stranger to watch them. You're judging them being cautious

ms20182878 · 61-69, M

@Babybear78 But I feel that, as adults, we are TOO cautious. There are thoughts that we could share with each other that would be good to share... but we don't...

So... How long does it take someone to get to know you at a significant level?

Babybear78 · 46-50, F

@ms20182878 I think that's different for everyone based on their individual experiences but for me? I would say it depends on each individual. My best friend and I clicked instantly and have been tight every since. Other people just don't mesh and I keep them at a safe distance

ms20182878 · 61-69, M

@Babybear78 That's an interesting observation: Why do we "click" with some people, and trust them almost immediately? And with others, we might not ever fully trust them? For me, I have met people, almost exclusively women, who I almost immediately feel safe with and I share some really deep thoughts with them right away. Why do we feel so safe around some people, but not around others?

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@ms20182878 my issue is the latter...sorry i know u weren't talking to me. I'll go now 🚪🚶

ms20182878 · 61-69, M

@iamnikki By "the latter", do you mean that you don't ever fully trust the other person? Is so, why don't you trust them?

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@ms20182878 Meaning I think they will use the info I give against me. it's happened before.

ms20182878 · 61-69, M

@iamnikki Oh... I understand.