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I Enjoy Meaningful Conversations

Seeing as so many people added this group, you could say that the majority of the population enjoys a meaningful conversation, but the difference being is that for some people that could mean talking about how much they love chocolate and for others whether there's the possibility of alternate realities. In other words; anything could be considered meaningful to discuss or debate.

As I spend time here alone today going through a maelstrom of emotions, I know that there's such a thing as being left with your own thoughts for too long and that engaging with others in meaningful ways is eventually a necessity. The trouble is when you start questioning what exactly you find meaningful, or rather, whether you have enough things in your life that you consider meaningful. How can we find meaningful conversations when we're still trying to decide what that actually means to us?

You could describe it as soul searching and I would assume that finding others that are also soul searching may give the formula for igniting a spark to heat the flames. Some of the meaningful conversations I've had have come from talking to passing strangers just looking to fill the time while they go about their travels and then there's the relationships that last a while. How lucky we are then to find someone we can share that with for a lifetime. Yet the question still remains; what do you do when so much has become meaningless?

I've had a rich past with many different experiences but it's left me wanting and maybe that's simply the nature of being human; we always tend to want more than what we currently have. Yet isn't that how we grow and evolve ourselves? We need to keep feeding the machine so we can strive to be a more advanced version. Continue to be upgraded to meet the times. How do I get my latest upgrade?

I guess all a person can do is to keep putting themselves out there, even when it seems pointless; eventually something has to click and then life won't seem like such a waiting game.

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SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

I think he must have had an unending love and passion for science, the methods and the processes, to want to keep pursuing his work enough and that each failed attempt was extremely fascinating to want to analyse and dissect that failure due to how much he revelled in it. That, or he was just beyond stubborn.
Of course it must have definitely been that attitude and mindset of "what have I learned from this?" which also helped him through, as you pointed out.

Answering the questions you're asking can come down to the quality of our resolve; possibly our ability to emotionally detach from each event and analyse clearly and objectively about what happened much like a scientist; our ability to adapt and change to new ways of thinking, as well as new ways of perceiving things, and generally our will to take the steps to do something out of our nature. I know I've been stuck doing very similar things over and over, but part of that has come down to what is available to me in my area and due to my own limitations which I struggle to break beyond. There's that battle for things to remain the same and a battle to improve the situation; it's not uncommon for self-sabotage to occur. Sometimes we need help from dealing with ourselves.

In all of this it's important to not give up completely and be open to new opportunities as and when we encounter them, whether we create them ourselves or they just happen to come along. Also, at the heart of the main post, there's having enough hope and faith that our actions matter, that there are people out there that we can find meaning with enough and undertakings that we value enough to feel that living is actually worth it after-all.

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SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

There's a lot that needs to happen for it to work effectively. What you've mentioned is definitely needed and you raise some valid points. A place can only be as good as the people putting in their efforts and working strictly to the rules.

I use WordPress but I don't think I've ever seen there be a plug-in for chat rooms, however I could always check. The thing with WordPress though is that it's primarily used by Americans and in order for me to set something up it would have to be UK based. I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, as days like today I don't feel up to doing much of anything. If I had greater stability I'd be able to consider things like setting up an independent website to do such things, but it requires a small team. Maybe I could find a website to do these sorts of things and work on one, but it's a great deal of responsibility for one person to take on and there can be a great deal of accountability that goes with it too.

Kerennya · 56-60, F

Why would a site need to be UK-based? So someone would be up to provide support at the hours you'd be using it? Or is it just a preference for seeing British English?

What about seeing if there are sites that are the equivalent of Skype, only for chats? (For that matter, I think can you can do Skype chatting as a standard group chat without video if you want to. I'll admit to having a bias against Skype - for some reason it really annoys the heck out of me - I'm not sure why.)

Then the moderator could go to whatever the site is, and start the chat and invite the members to come. That might remove some of the hassles of having to do the tech work yourself. I did a quick search online and came up with a site called Stinto that looks like it does just that, though obviously with just me, it's a little hard to test the chat feature.

I'm sorry to hear you had a 'not feeling like doing much' kind of day. I hope you are feeling better now. :)

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

While people in US can have something to offer, there are differences between how life is here for people with mental health issues than there is for those in the US and it reflects how people talk to one another. I often feel like an outsider when being a part of groups that are predominantly made up of people from the US.

There's plenty of different things out there for people to form groups, but again it seems the majority of people who gravitate towards them are predominantly by those from the US. I've seen forums for people in the UK and Facebook groups but little else. I think I'm better just sticking to the support group here that I'll be going to this Wednesday in my town, however Stinto did look like a good tool to use if there were ever a way to get people together from the UK, though I think it would take some careful co-ordination to have it work out successfully.

Thinking a little bit clearer at the moment, thank you.

Kerennya · 56-60, F

Remember, Thomas Edison found over 1,000 ways that the artificial light wouldn't work before he finally figured out what we know as the light bulb. How might our world have been different if Edison had reached, say, the 700th failure and said, "This is too hard, I give up."? I'm not sure what 1,000 failures says about his scientific genius, but I think it says TONS about his doggedness. I think part of what he did really well was to reframe failure - that may be where his genius actually was. He didn't look at it as "I failed again", I think he looked at it more as, "Well, I found another way that artificial light won't work. Is there anything I learned from this experiment that I can improve upon or vary?"

Point being, sometimes when we put ourselves out there and it seems like it didn't work, we're like Edison discovering another way that artificial light doesn't work. But do we let ourselves be paralyzed by what feels like another failure, or do we earnestly try to analyze that failure so we can improve on the next attempt? Are we willing to seek out constructive criticism and then let go of our preconceived notions about what will or won't work? Are we willing to step outside of our comfort zone as we attempt new things?

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

It comes down to what you end up pursuing. In some instances you know that history will repeat itself, you'll do the same sort of things, which could arguably be called insanity, but it's a necessity to do so anyway. I think the key is in the people we meet and experience life with in all of this; there's nothing more fascinating to me than a person who bares their soul, both honestly and intimately, describing to me their own personal lived experience. Get enough people together that work in harmony and you'll find more to discover. Yet, I don't know if that's the only answer. Maybe a time and place in the world, given our state of mind will give us exactly what we're looking for to sustain us and help us reach new heights, right until we find the next place. Conversations like this can be enough to plant the seeds.

Orlando

So what happens when you abandon the desire to grow? When you decide that your potential has been met....... Sometimes, the evolution is just the slow parade toward death and isn't really a means of intellectual growth. I dunno, just a thought that I am not framing well...... but....

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

I'm not holding my breath going into it, but we've got to be busy doing something, right? I guess you could say I've been blessed by having my sanity completely taken from me to experience a world more transcendent than this one, so while all things are destined for demise, I've seen glimmers of some kind of life beyond this one. There's nothing for me to fear about death, but the process of dying itself, which could always be over in an instant anyway. Eternal rest would be fine in my books too.
To comment further on experiencing life being all the rage; this is it, right here, right now. I never know what I'll feel in the next minute and that's acceptable to me.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

I'll have to take your word for it.

Thanks and thank you for the conversation, I've appreciated it. You're welcome to pick it back up anytime.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

I've actually had that perspective before now and I've been through that period of saying "why bother?" and effectively given up to it, finding comfort for a while but eventually it's taken it's toll on me, becoming frustrating and left me feeling even more empty. I guess that's what sets one person apart from the next; sometimes knowing how the world works and how life operates for us is enough to settle down and be at peace with it. For me, I can't seem to ignore that hunger to want to find greater meaning and purpose beyond what I've been through already.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

Isn't it the void that keeps propelling you forward to keep achieving, meeting new goals and having new experiences? Perhaps if you're truly full and complete for good, it would be a life devoid of any real reason to do anything in particular. It's like our need to always consume food because of the hunger we feel when we're without enough of what we need; it's the catalyst for a life with purpose. The journey tends to be what matters most and not the destination.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

While you're alive you can still meet new people that bring worth to your life and still experience something fresh and life changing. The beauty of life is that we can always be surprised, we can always be moved and brought to tears by something that touches our hearts deeply; even if it takes a while. I'd say that's what I was getting at with putting ourselves out there; all it takes is one special moment to turn things around.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

Nor I, seeing as I've been more of a hermit over the years. Yet I've had the moments and I'm willing to go out again and see what happens now. There's a part of me that wonders about fate and destiny in all this because I had deja vu earlier when typing. Regardless of how we are and what we believe it could simply just happen at any given moment.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

Don't we just then stagnate and become apathetic? Who knows, maybe we find the peace and contentment we want, but in my experience nothing ever really stays the same for too long. Maybe our priorities become something different, instead of looking to grow and develop we give back to the world and make the use of our abilities.

Orlando

I'm glad you're up for it. I hear that experiencing life is all the rage. I really do. and now you bring up fate and destiny....... we all have the same fate and destiny, ultimately. golly, I'm morbid, but you know what I mean, right? Maybe not. I have far too much fear to do much at all.

Orlando

I only ask, because we have such different perspectives..... shouldn't there be a point at which we realize the journey is what it is... life it what it is..... that desire, that hunger, that whatever is the constant and nothing will ever change that and therefore as we wind down... why bother?

Orlando

and yet you know there is no more to it.... right? really when you think of it? or do you believe there is something more to find or solve....... maybe experience...... there are things to experience.

helpful. I needed to decide there were things left to experience.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

Yeah, got to clean the home before the Grim Reaper comes otherwise they'll be hell to pay for.

I'm just winding down with music before I get some sleep, which I was looking to do in about ten minutes, but I'm in no rush.

Yourself?

Orlando

Call it what you will.... stagnation, apathy, a change in priorities, it happens. Giving back to the world, that's a thing, a real thing. It feels great to do. I like being useful and yet it doesn;t fill the void left by hopefullness and boundless potential.

Orlando

I don;t know, Im still lost and I have more days behind me than I do ahead of me.... so there/s just not much to do but read another book

Orlando

good old eternal rest.... if I could just get these responsibilities in check..... right?

so what are you doing to pass the time?

Orlando

yeah, I suppose.
not things I excel at.
but yeah, I see people doing that. it's something people do.

SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M

You and me both. Seems like the ones in the yellow pages are all booked up.

Orlando

lol...... if you only knew how true that was for me.

Sleep well .... hope the music is right.

Orlando

find me a gardener....i need one badly.

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