Hated My Parents

@Lostpoet
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person, it's always about you and only you.

@swirlie Yes, that's right.

@FelicityDavenport
The question is, does @Lostpoet know I'm right?

@swirlie Well, that's another question entirely! Lol!

@FelicityDavenport
Let's wait for him to reply to my first post to find out for sure!

@swirlie Maybe, I can't forgive me neither.

@Lostpoet
Why not you either?

@swirlie Because I didn't do anything I just left.

@Lostpoet
Forgiveness is about forgiving yourself for what you thought, it is not about forgiving the other person for what you thought they did.

@swirlie I know what they did

@Lostpoet
Yeah, so what?

@swirlie They ruined my already fcked up life. I never did anything to anyone. I think I should be able to fight back without being thrown in prison. That's what. But I can't do that, so I just need to move on with my life which I've been trying to do.

@Lostpoet
Your parents threw you in prison?

@swirlie no

@Lostpoet
Oh, so you threw yourself in prison and they came to visit you on weekends?

@Lostpoet ĵust ignore her. It's none of her business. She is just trying to antagonize you.

@lissah
Go mind YOUR OWN business, lissah... and lose some weight while you're at it.

@swirlie there is no right or wrong forgiveness is a personal choice. If it had nothing to do with the other person there wouldn't be a problem would there? So no you're not right or wrong. Just a cranky person on the internet

@Lostpoet @kodiac

I know I'm late to the party, but this hit deep enough to deserve a comment.

I think I understand what Swirlie meant about forgiveness is about releasing yourself from the weight, not excusing theirs.

But some people will never grasp what it feels like to walk through hell, much less come out forged tougher because of it.

Real strength is surviving what others could never fathom.

And forgiveness? That's no one's right to demand or expect. Only the one who endured the fire can decide if the weight is worth setting down and at what cost.

I’ll admit, I still carry grudges toward those guilty of endless abuse, who later claimed it was "the best they could do." Maybe someday I’ll be able to put that weight down… but for now, it’s become part of my armor. Heavy, yes, but mine.

@Dainbramadge I also think forgiveness is an acceptance to what other people have done and I cannot accept what has been done and how I've been treated.

@Lostpoet Oh brother your preaching to the choir.

I was just trying to hit the angle of holding animosity towards others drags you down not them type thing and honestly there must be something to it or you wouldn't here it all the time. LOL
But I am not ready to understand it or do any forgiving myself. Yet.
I don't even want to understand the whole forgiveness crap.
I think I was was just trying to sound better than I really am. :-)

@Dainbramadge No, I understand what you are saying, but I just don't have the capacity to just drop the weight because to me it would be a form of accepting what they have done.

@Lostpoet I'll PM you.

@Dainbramadge To me if i forgive it means well it wasn't that bad and i understand, but it was that bad and I'll never understand. Also in my case my forgivness would mean nothing to the abusers. I can understand forgiveness, if you steal my money i can forgive,if you steal my soul no way. They have done nothing to deserve my forgivness. Forgivness is wasted on pure evil.