I'm Saying Don't Judge Me Until You've Walked In My Shoes

People really don't understand me! I'm quite, like to be alone, but when I'm forced around people, I react in a way that makes me seem happy, excited, hyper, talkative, but in all actuality it's to face my fears, I'm secretly terrified of them all! I guess it all started when my parents got divorced, I remember the days they fought! I remember the night my dad drove there in anger with me in the passenger seat. It was cool and late. I can't remember why we went but my I remember my mom hitting my dad, I remember the police lights and the handcuffs being put on my mom. I remember learning of my moms drug addiction!

Ever since that day, I've hated alcohol and drugs, I refuse to go to parties and I'm very antisocial! My fears and anxieties keep me from living a normal life around people! I won't let people get close, I push everyone away. I tell myself I hate myself. I used to self harm. And I almost committed suicide. (A failed attempt) I don't know where I'm heading but I'm afraid I'll never find someone to love. Or even a true friend! I'm terrified of my future