Four Words
I wrote this quite a while back - 3 or 4, maybe 5 years ago - when I was still in the thick of the most unbelievably
difficult time. I didn't post it at the time, instead saving it to my drafts folder here. (Hey SW admin - I miss that drafts folder option.)
Anyway, even now, when I think about those 4 little words, I am still reminded I don't walk this life alone, no matter how quiet and reserved I've become. I do have good people in my corner - a select few here - and also in the real world. It's good to be reminded of things like that.
So this below, still has merit.... For me anyway. *shrug*
Feeling lousy - I've got a lot of time on my hands...to think, to wonder, to write...in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. But sleep is elusive lately and my thoughts continue to race.
I got a call from an old friend last night out of the blue. I've written about him before because, well, he's kind of a special guy. And trust me. I seldom say that about any man, especially now days. Anyway...I don't know how he does it, but he always seems to sense when I'm at my lowest point. And. He's always - ALWAYS - got my back. Always has. No games. No lies. No subterfuge. No attempts at deceptively seeking something for nothing like I've experienced in the past. Just plain old-fashioned caring. And blunt speaking no matter what.
Lately, I've forgotten what genuinely good people I do have in my life. Those who are there, and who show it through action, not just pretty words that mean absolutely nothing. People who don't lie. Or use. Or simply stay around for what they can get from me. Plain speaking, sturdy, good, well-intentioned people.
He asked how I was doing, and I gave him the typical, "I'm alright." He laughed and called bullshit. He was right. As usual.
I opened up. Shared everything. Everything I'd been through. Every hurt I'd experienced. Every lie. Every ugly thought and heartache. (And I mean EVERY ugly, vicious, horrible thought.) Every betrayal. Explained how, through that betrayal, I'd lost my zest for life...my enthusiasm and drive for pretty much everything. How I felt defeated, alone, and like life no longer held any hope or promise for me.
He was compassionate. Understanding. Empathetic even. And then...he said something that felt like a hug around my heart... just 4 plain little words.
Oh, he didn't say "YOU need to get on with it" or "YOU need to forget that lousy bastard" or "YOU just need to get out there and get busy." Or even the old idiot standard "I'll make you forget all that."
Nope. He got it. He really, truly, got it. All of it. *shrug* No judgment. No recrimination. No accusatory tone. No impatience. Instead, with compassion, earnest, and honesty, he let me know he cared by saying one of the nicest, most unassuming things anyone has ever said to me...and just when I needed it most.
All he said was, "Then, let's change that."
Not, youneed to change that. But us. We. Together. We change it.
In that one tiny sentence, he let me know I wasn't alone - that he cared enough to want better for me than to live just half a life. That he was there. That even if I thought I could do it alone, I didn't have to. Because, well, WE.That was huge.
There was so much meaning and impact for me in those 4 little words. He probably didn't even realize how deeply I was affected. But I will let him know and make sure he understands his genuiness and kindness didn't go unnoticed.
You know, I think sometimes the kindest thing we can do for someone who is struggling, is to skip the flowery words or the typical canned phrases, in favor of plain old ordinary, sturdy words, backed by genuine meaning and care.
But the other side of that coin is...if we find we can't deliver even the basic of human kindness or compassion to someone in need, and actually mean - and follow through - with what we promise, then I don't know....how about just shut the hell up and leave, so that someone else might be able to step up to the plate and actually offer genuine support.
Just sayin... *shrug*
difficult time. I didn't post it at the time, instead saving it to my drafts folder here. (Hey SW admin - I miss that drafts folder option.)
Anyway, even now, when I think about those 4 little words, I am still reminded I don't walk this life alone, no matter how quiet and reserved I've become. I do have good people in my corner - a select few here - and also in the real world. It's good to be reminded of things like that.
So this below, still has merit.... For me anyway. *shrug*
Feeling lousy - I've got a lot of time on my hands...to think, to wonder, to write...in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. But sleep is elusive lately and my thoughts continue to race.
I got a call from an old friend last night out of the blue. I've written about him before because, well, he's kind of a special guy. And trust me. I seldom say that about any man, especially now days. Anyway...I don't know how he does it, but he always seems to sense when I'm at my lowest point. And. He's always - ALWAYS - got my back. Always has. No games. No lies. No subterfuge. No attempts at deceptively seeking something for nothing like I've experienced in the past. Just plain old-fashioned caring. And blunt speaking no matter what.
Lately, I've forgotten what genuinely good people I do have in my life. Those who are there, and who show it through action, not just pretty words that mean absolutely nothing. People who don't lie. Or use. Or simply stay around for what they can get from me. Plain speaking, sturdy, good, well-intentioned people.
He asked how I was doing, and I gave him the typical, "I'm alright." He laughed and called bullshit. He was right. As usual.
I opened up. Shared everything. Everything I'd been through. Every hurt I'd experienced. Every lie. Every ugly thought and heartache. (And I mean EVERY ugly, vicious, horrible thought.) Every betrayal. Explained how, through that betrayal, I'd lost my zest for life...my enthusiasm and drive for pretty much everything. How I felt defeated, alone, and like life no longer held any hope or promise for me.
He was compassionate. Understanding. Empathetic even. And then...he said something that felt like a hug around my heart... just 4 plain little words.
Oh, he didn't say "YOU need to get on with it" or "YOU need to forget that lousy bastard" or "YOU just need to get out there and get busy." Or even the old idiot standard "I'll make you forget all that."
Nope. He got it. He really, truly, got it. All of it. *shrug* No judgment. No recrimination. No accusatory tone. No impatience. Instead, with compassion, earnest, and honesty, he let me know he cared by saying one of the nicest, most unassuming things anyone has ever said to me...and just when I needed it most.
All he said was, "Then, let's change that."
Not, youneed to change that. But us. We. Together. We change it.
In that one tiny sentence, he let me know I wasn't alone - that he cared enough to want better for me than to live just half a life. That he was there. That even if I thought I could do it alone, I didn't have to. Because, well, WE.That was huge.
There was so much meaning and impact for me in those 4 little words. He probably didn't even realize how deeply I was affected. But I will let him know and make sure he understands his genuiness and kindness didn't go unnoticed.
You know, I think sometimes the kindest thing we can do for someone who is struggling, is to skip the flowery words or the typical canned phrases, in favor of plain old ordinary, sturdy words, backed by genuine meaning and care.
But the other side of that coin is...if we find we can't deliver even the basic of human kindness or compassion to someone in need, and actually mean - and follow through - with what we promise, then I don't know....how about just shut the hell up and leave, so that someone else might be able to step up to the plate and actually offer genuine support.
Just sayin... *shrug*
61-69, F
