Don't try to understand how the spoon bends. Just be the spoon, then you'll bend, as if you knew you would..

The spoon was made of nitinol: a metal that resumes its original shape when heat is applied, as in rubbing it with one's hands. It was forged in bent shape and straightened before performing the mind control trick.

There is no spoon! Never was,Neo was only fighting himself.
Once you understand this the game changes.