Do-Gooders and Other Fools
I suppose this is a rant. I am experiencing some disappointment in my neighbors just lately, since I have begun delivering food to them. I suppose as a keep-to-myself sort of person, I am just now experiencing the little shocks of learning what kind of people [i]some[/i] of my neighbors really are.
One neighbor in particular is testing my soul. I arranged to have food delivered to her for as long as the guys from my church were helping me, and a couple of days, when they could not get all the food orders we needed, I picked up and delivered food to this woman personally. I brought the food in to her apartment, as far as was possible, because there was not one foot of floor space available in that mess. She told me, face to face, that her food stamps had been cut to $23 a month, and that she just couldn't afford to buy food for the month on that tiny amount of money.
The sad part, is that this woman is related to one of my good friends from church, through her daughter's marriage. So, when I saw the way this woman was living, I knew she needed more help than I could give. I called my good friend from church, and asked her to please let this woman's daughter know that she needs help, and is living like a hoarder.
So...finally, her daughter contacted a home help agency, and NOW this woman, whom I helped with food, has a home health aide, because of my phone call.
She now accompanies her home health aide down to the laundry room and, in line with the old adage that no good deed shall go unpunished, their laundry day is the same as MY laundry day. In other words, our cleaning ladies both arrive on the same day.
There are, also, only three washing machines, and the woman I tried to help has now begun bullying MY cleaning ladies...two of them...so that she can hog the washing machines for herself. She forced ONE of my cleaning ladies to remove my laundry from a washing machine...telling her, falsely, that she could not use two washing machines at the same time. When she bullied my second cleaning lady, she asked who the cleaning lady was working for, and when she told her my name, she professed not to know me. When she first moved into this building...she introduced herself to me and asked me if I knew her in-law from my church. So unless she has sudden onset amnesia, she [i]does[/i] know my name.
A man on a mobility scooter came up to me just before the guys from my church quit helping to get food, and told me that ALL his food stamps had been cancelled, and that he [i]really [/i]needed the food deliveries.
So two weeks ago I delivered the food to his apartment for the second time. The woman living there with this man had to be gotten up out of bed to accept the food, and I noticed the food box from their very first delivery was still sitting on the floor in the kitchen, and hadn't been unpacked. Everyhing was a mess. I told the woman I would be there every Friday morning. But you know, later, I had second thoughts. I thought, "If she is too lazy to take the food out of the food boxes and put it away...perhaps she is too lazy to cook".
On Friday this past week, I was unloading food out of my car, and I saw the same woman exiting the building. She stopped dead, and said, "Oh! It's Friday!" And I checked off my own little mental box. I told her not to worry, that from now on, I would leave their food in the community room with everyone else's food, and that they could come and get their food there, if they needed it, and I told her that I didn't want her to be overwhelmed. (She didn't even realize I had just insulted her). She smiled happily, and her (husband?) on his mobility scooter waved, and motored off down the sidewalk. They were obviously headed out for the day. THAT's how desperately they needed the food I was bringing.
AND I have a new next door neighbor, who moved in about a month ago, and I thought he seemed like a nice person at first, but then I noticed that he says nasty things in a very low voice when he thinks other people can't hear him. I've had to ignore him twice.
One lady, who asked me for food deliveries when the guys from my church were still helping out, went on shopping sprees with the money she saved on groceries...and still another woman we were helping not only went on shopping sprees, but also made plans to go out to eat with a friend in my hearing. No wonder the guys from my church quit, and told me they thought some of my neighbors were taking advantage.
When they quit, I was crushed. Pollyanna that I was, I had no idea that my rosy vision of helping needy disabled or elderly neighbors was BS. I had to post a notice in the elevator after the guys from my church quit, so that people would no longer be expecting individual deliveries. I signed my name to it.
The following day, a really LOUD woman was ranting about it in the lobby. I couldn't hear every word, but I heard my name twice...and then I heard her yell..."And now we get no FOOD!!!"
Then I heard her walk down the hall and enter an apartment on my floor, and realized this loud mouthed idiot wasn't even on my delivery list, because we didn't [i]deliver [/i] to anyone on my floor.
I was so depressed and crushed by all of this...by TRYING to help and being met with abuse, that I wrote to my cousin. She was involved in higher up church leadership in her town, and relayed that in her experience, the loudest and the most demanding people were habitual users and abusers of charity work in her church.
She told me that the quiet ones, who never complained, and seldom asked for help, were often the most worthy of help.
One neighbor in particular is testing my soul. I arranged to have food delivered to her for as long as the guys from my church were helping me, and a couple of days, when they could not get all the food orders we needed, I picked up and delivered food to this woman personally. I brought the food in to her apartment, as far as was possible, because there was not one foot of floor space available in that mess. She told me, face to face, that her food stamps had been cut to $23 a month, and that she just couldn't afford to buy food for the month on that tiny amount of money.
The sad part, is that this woman is related to one of my good friends from church, through her daughter's marriage. So, when I saw the way this woman was living, I knew she needed more help than I could give. I called my good friend from church, and asked her to please let this woman's daughter know that she needs help, and is living like a hoarder.
So...finally, her daughter contacted a home help agency, and NOW this woman, whom I helped with food, has a home health aide, because of my phone call.
She now accompanies her home health aide down to the laundry room and, in line with the old adage that no good deed shall go unpunished, their laundry day is the same as MY laundry day. In other words, our cleaning ladies both arrive on the same day.
There are, also, only three washing machines, and the woman I tried to help has now begun bullying MY cleaning ladies...two of them...so that she can hog the washing machines for herself. She forced ONE of my cleaning ladies to remove my laundry from a washing machine...telling her, falsely, that she could not use two washing machines at the same time. When she bullied my second cleaning lady, she asked who the cleaning lady was working for, and when she told her my name, she professed not to know me. When she first moved into this building...she introduced herself to me and asked me if I knew her in-law from my church. So unless she has sudden onset amnesia, she [i]does[/i] know my name.
A man on a mobility scooter came up to me just before the guys from my church quit helping to get food, and told me that ALL his food stamps had been cancelled, and that he [i]really [/i]needed the food deliveries.
So two weeks ago I delivered the food to his apartment for the second time. The woman living there with this man had to be gotten up out of bed to accept the food, and I noticed the food box from their very first delivery was still sitting on the floor in the kitchen, and hadn't been unpacked. Everyhing was a mess. I told the woman I would be there every Friday morning. But you know, later, I had second thoughts. I thought, "If she is too lazy to take the food out of the food boxes and put it away...perhaps she is too lazy to cook".
On Friday this past week, I was unloading food out of my car, and I saw the same woman exiting the building. She stopped dead, and said, "Oh! It's Friday!" And I checked off my own little mental box. I told her not to worry, that from now on, I would leave their food in the community room with everyone else's food, and that they could come and get their food there, if they needed it, and I told her that I didn't want her to be overwhelmed. (She didn't even realize I had just insulted her). She smiled happily, and her (husband?) on his mobility scooter waved, and motored off down the sidewalk. They were obviously headed out for the day. THAT's how desperately they needed the food I was bringing.
AND I have a new next door neighbor, who moved in about a month ago, and I thought he seemed like a nice person at first, but then I noticed that he says nasty things in a very low voice when he thinks other people can't hear him. I've had to ignore him twice.
One lady, who asked me for food deliveries when the guys from my church were still helping out, went on shopping sprees with the money she saved on groceries...and still another woman we were helping not only went on shopping sprees, but also made plans to go out to eat with a friend in my hearing. No wonder the guys from my church quit, and told me they thought some of my neighbors were taking advantage.
When they quit, I was crushed. Pollyanna that I was, I had no idea that my rosy vision of helping needy disabled or elderly neighbors was BS. I had to post a notice in the elevator after the guys from my church quit, so that people would no longer be expecting individual deliveries. I signed my name to it.
The following day, a really LOUD woman was ranting about it in the lobby. I couldn't hear every word, but I heard my name twice...and then I heard her yell..."And now we get no FOOD!!!"
Then I heard her walk down the hall and enter an apartment on my floor, and realized this loud mouthed idiot wasn't even on my delivery list, because we didn't [i]deliver [/i] to anyone on my floor.
I was so depressed and crushed by all of this...by TRYING to help and being met with abuse, that I wrote to my cousin. She was involved in higher up church leadership in her town, and relayed that in her experience, the loudest and the most demanding people were habitual users and abusers of charity work in her church.
She told me that the quiet ones, who never complained, and seldom asked for help, were often the most worthy of help.
