I can help you
Though I can't help myself xD
That's ok though, helping you makes me smile :) ♥️
That's ok though, helping you makes me smile :) ♥️
31-35, F
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Busybee333 · 31-35, F
@HootyTheNightOwl If your heart keeps you back or you are afraid of their reaction, but you know this relationship is toxic to you, you should leave on impulse. If you have the means to, go on a solo vacation/trip, and just never come back - just go straight to your new place. Let your closest friend/family member know, so that they can help you. Maybe they can fetch you from home or from the airport. If you don't have anyone trustworthy, sometimes there are community-based organizations that can help you escape an abusive relationship (look around). If you don't have the means for a trip, go to the grocery store, and just don't come back. You could crash at a friend's house until you find your new place. Leaving an explanatory note is optional and you don't have to say a word. If they did something horrible to you, they know it was wrong. If you are scared for your life, you can go straight to the police department first. They can help you orient yourself in what you can do to protect yourself. Abuse is not something to be just tolerated. Move out without hesitation and don't look back. Even if you have feelings, you can overcome it. Hear me when I say, you are better off alone and alive than closed in one place with someone who is slowly killing you.
@Busybee333 I'm tired... I've tried so much over the years.
I told my doctor's surgery so it's recorded in my notes, I've had the national domestic abuse helpline contacted at least 5 times, I went through a stupid survey with social services (they were more bothered about getting him help than they were me), I declared myself homeless (they sent me back - even though they have a duty to house me), I went to the police (they didn't want to send me to a refuge and insisted that I go to my sister's house instead... so I went to my sister's house and she sent me back two hours after I arrived there.
With the financial abuse, the only option I have left now is the streets. I've resisted this for as long as possible because I won't survive out there for long at all with limited mobility.
I walked almost three miles last time I left and was bed bound for a week (struggling to attend to my toileting needs), followed by two weeks of being unable to go to the toilet and prepare myself a sandwich in the same trip... I need a wheelchair, but I can't get one without a prescription and I can't get a prescription without a diagnosis, which I can't get without seeing a doctor because I can't get an appointment since Covid19.
I have been trying to get him to agree to let me get a passport ever since I last walked out in March. I'm hoping to do what many women living with abuse do and get off the mainland before reaching out for too much more help. Some of our overseas territories do a better job of helping people than I'm getting here.
In fact, the refuge the police found for me was in the town where my abuser lived from 18-39 (no, they're not supposed to house me in an area where I am still "at risk") and he still has family and friends in that area who know us well enough to recognise me and tell him or my family where I am. A lot of them are farmers, too. The "choice" I had to make was this refuge or my sister's house.
As things are at the moment, I feel trapped with nowhere to go and no way to get out.
I told my doctor's surgery so it's recorded in my notes, I've had the national domestic abuse helpline contacted at least 5 times, I went through a stupid survey with social services (they were more bothered about getting him help than they were me), I declared myself homeless (they sent me back - even though they have a duty to house me), I went to the police (they didn't want to send me to a refuge and insisted that I go to my sister's house instead... so I went to my sister's house and she sent me back two hours after I arrived there.
With the financial abuse, the only option I have left now is the streets. I've resisted this for as long as possible because I won't survive out there for long at all with limited mobility.
I walked almost three miles last time I left and was bed bound for a week (struggling to attend to my toileting needs), followed by two weeks of being unable to go to the toilet and prepare myself a sandwich in the same trip... I need a wheelchair, but I can't get one without a prescription and I can't get a prescription without a diagnosis, which I can't get without seeing a doctor because I can't get an appointment since Covid19.
I have been trying to get him to agree to let me get a passport ever since I last walked out in March. I'm hoping to do what many women living with abuse do and get off the mainland before reaching out for too much more help. Some of our overseas territories do a better job of helping people than I'm getting here.
In fact, the refuge the police found for me was in the town where my abuser lived from 18-39 (no, they're not supposed to house me in an area where I am still "at risk") and he still has family and friends in that area who know us well enough to recognise me and tell him or my family where I am. A lot of them are farmers, too. The "choice" I had to make was this refuge or my sister's house.
As things are at the moment, I feel trapped with nowhere to go and no way to get out.
Busybee333 · 31-35, F
@HootyTheNightOwl
Don't give up - keep looking for the right organization.
In the meantime, you have to find a way to survive without needing anyone's permission for basic things.
Can you work from home ? Maybe online or on the phone ?
Many jobs can now be completed at distance - that is some way for you to get financial independence.
Open a new bank account that only you have access to.
Save up until the doctor signs for the wheelchair.
Then leave to a new place (you can rent 1st floor - no stairs).
You can also buy your passport after moving out.
Just because you're on a wheelchair doesn't mean you can't survive and live well.
Also, there is no age-range and/or special condition for success. You can totally have big successes in life, no matter your condition.
Because you are brave, capable of many things, and you know you can achieve your goals. I heard a saying something in the lines of as long as your heart beats, there is still hope and there is still a way to solve it. You want freedom. Your will has no bounds - you must continue fighting for that freedom. The alternative will leave you regretful.
You can get your own place. Get there. The rest, you will think in motion.
Don't give up - keep looking for the right organization.
In the meantime, you have to find a way to survive without needing anyone's permission for basic things.
Can you work from home ? Maybe online or on the phone ?
Many jobs can now be completed at distance - that is some way for you to get financial independence.
Open a new bank account that only you have access to.
Save up until the doctor signs for the wheelchair.
Then leave to a new place (you can rent 1st floor - no stairs).
You can also buy your passport after moving out.
Just because you're on a wheelchair doesn't mean you can't survive and live well.
Also, there is no age-range and/or special condition for success. You can totally have big successes in life, no matter your condition.
Because you are brave, capable of many things, and you know you can achieve your goals. I heard a saying something in the lines of as long as your heart beats, there is still hope and there is still a way to solve it. You want freedom. Your will has no bounds - you must continue fighting for that freedom. The alternative will leave you regretful.
You can get your own place. Get there. The rest, you will think in motion.
Busybee333 · 31-35, F
****If this doc is impossible, save money go to another private doc*** If it saves you time and trouble, it is worth the money.
@Busybee333 I'm already working as his carer - and I'm currently talking to soon to be ex about potentially making my own wax melts to sell for money. I have to be careful with that though, because he knows that I can only work for 16 hours a week while I care for him.
He bought me an electric oil burner for Christmas this year - so, it would be logical to allow me to reduce old candles to wax enough to have something to burn in the burner... and, if I could sell a few on the side, that's a bonus. I've just got to do it as cheaply as possible because he wants to spend as much money as he can on himself on Amazon.
I have my own bank account... he never opened a joint account in the twenty one years since I married him. That's how he manages to cut me off financially - everything goes in his account. The government requires his consent to change that, even though it's not legally required now that I have demonstrated that I am being abused.
I'll never afford to go for private healthcare...
He bought me an electric oil burner for Christmas this year - so, it would be logical to allow me to reduce old candles to wax enough to have something to burn in the burner... and, if I could sell a few on the side, that's a bonus. I've just got to do it as cheaply as possible because he wants to spend as much money as he can on himself on Amazon.
I have my own bank account... he never opened a joint account in the twenty one years since I married him. That's how he manages to cut me off financially - everything goes in his account. The government requires his consent to change that, even though it's not legally required now that I have demonstrated that I am being abused.
I'll never afford to go for private healthcare...