How to help without helping too much?

I’m trying to figure out how much help to offer without overextending the helping hand. My dad is back from the hospital, but still feeling fairly weak. I want to help him as much as I can, but I know having a sense of purpose is important to the human spirit in recovering from illness. I’ll grant that his chances of recovering from leukemia are unlikely, but I don’t want him to give up either.

He’s always been self reliant and only asks for help after trying a thing from every angle by himself. So how can I help him with household chores and errands while leaving him that sense of independence and self control that I know is so important to him?

I just don’t want him to have any sense of being a burden, but at the same time I know he gets winded just walking to the bathroom.

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OogieBoogie · F

I don't know much about leukemia. But I do know about helping Ill people.
If he's independent, do tasks with him, like washing and drying the dishes.
If he needs clothes washed, get him to put them in the basket. Let him do part of the jobs that he can.
Work together on shopping lists over coffee.
If you're cooking, let him sit at the bench so you can cook and talk .

It's about the process ...not necessarily the outcome . Doing stuff WITH them is not so much about 'getting it done' bit more about 'time together' .
He might start jobs that you can finish .

Errands might be harder. Maybe he can go in the car,and wait while you do it ? I dunno.

Sometimes it's just about being there and screw the housework. ...an unvacumed floor never killed nobody.😏

Lyfis2live

Be around just in case he needs.

Musicman · 61-69, MVIP

That is a super tough question. When my dad went through radiation treatment he was okay. After the cancer surgery there was no question about it. He has to have help to the point where my wife and I had to move in with him. Just use your best judgement is all I can say and take it day by day.

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