I Am Fascinated By Human Behavior
Since last summer, I’ve been working with a girl who comes from a very conservative culture. She’s 23 years old, very intelligent (she has a degree in pure maths) and very, very attractive.
We’ve become very close, not in any kind of romantic way, she just confides in me and tells me things that she can’t talk about with people other than her female friends and relatives. This is a cultural thing for her, she’s actually told me a number of times that I’m the dad that she wished she had.
Our conversations are varied and often ramble into all kinds of topics, the most recent being about “selfies”. It started with me telling her that my cousin’s wife was obsessed with taking selfies of herself with her husband (my cousin) and their one year old boy. Who I totally adore.
I was showing her the latest crop that they had sent to me. As usual, they were very imaginative, creative, cute and often very funny.
“What do you think of mums doing selfies of themselves? You know, when it’s just them in the picture”, she asked.
“Nothing.” I replied. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it. Or are you talking about a particular type of selfie?”
She looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face for a couple of seconds and then, realising what I meant, said;
“No, no, no. Nothing like THAT! I mean selfies like this.”
She then showed a picture on her phone. It was of one of her cousins who looked to be a couple of years older than her. She told me that the girl was married and had a son aged 18 months. She looked as though she was dressed up for a night out. Glamorous dress, immaculate make-up, nothing even remotely inappropriate in any way.
I told her that the woman looked stunning and that there was nothing at all wrong with posting a picture like that on any of the social media sites. She then started flicking through the pictures on her phone showing me more photos of her female friends and family members. All were of a similar vein to the first picture. Until she came to a photo of herself.
“Oh no! You can’t look at that!” she cried, and rushed back to her desk visibly blushing.
I started laughing, “whyever not. You look amazing. You’re only wearing a pair of shorts and a top. There’s nothing bad about that pic.”
She was quiet and, still blushing profusely, got on with her work.
A few minutes later I heard my phone vibrate and there was the photo. She was obviously in the changing cubicle of some clothes shop or another and had taken a pic of herself in an outfit that she seemingly wanted to buy. It was a pair of white denim shorts and a sort of gipsy style crop top.
“Do you really think I look amazing?”
“Of course. It’s a very cute outfit and you look great in it. Did you buy it?”
“Oh no, I could never wear anything like that in public. My parents would go nuts. I just like to go in shops and try stuff like that on sometimes.”
I felt devastated for the girl. Part of me wanted to rant about her culture but another part, my more level headed side, realised that she didn’t need to hear that.
“Listen, all I can say is that you are a stunning girl and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that outfit.”
“Thanks. I know. About the outfit I mean. Not that I’m stunning.”
“You are. So there!”
We both had a little chuckle and that was that.
We’ve become very close, not in any kind of romantic way, she just confides in me and tells me things that she can’t talk about with people other than her female friends and relatives. This is a cultural thing for her, she’s actually told me a number of times that I’m the dad that she wished she had.
Our conversations are varied and often ramble into all kinds of topics, the most recent being about “selfies”. It started with me telling her that my cousin’s wife was obsessed with taking selfies of herself with her husband (my cousin) and their one year old boy. Who I totally adore.
I was showing her the latest crop that they had sent to me. As usual, they were very imaginative, creative, cute and often very funny.
“What do you think of mums doing selfies of themselves? You know, when it’s just them in the picture”, she asked.
“Nothing.” I replied. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it. Or are you talking about a particular type of selfie?”
She looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face for a couple of seconds and then, realising what I meant, said;
“No, no, no. Nothing like THAT! I mean selfies like this.”
She then showed a picture on her phone. It was of one of her cousins who looked to be a couple of years older than her. She told me that the girl was married and had a son aged 18 months. She looked as though she was dressed up for a night out. Glamorous dress, immaculate make-up, nothing even remotely inappropriate in any way.
I told her that the woman looked stunning and that there was nothing at all wrong with posting a picture like that on any of the social media sites. She then started flicking through the pictures on her phone showing me more photos of her female friends and family members. All were of a similar vein to the first picture. Until she came to a photo of herself.
“Oh no! You can’t look at that!” she cried, and rushed back to her desk visibly blushing.
I started laughing, “whyever not. You look amazing. You’re only wearing a pair of shorts and a top. There’s nothing bad about that pic.”
She was quiet and, still blushing profusely, got on with her work.
A few minutes later I heard my phone vibrate and there was the photo. She was obviously in the changing cubicle of some clothes shop or another and had taken a pic of herself in an outfit that she seemingly wanted to buy. It was a pair of white denim shorts and a sort of gipsy style crop top.
“Do you really think I look amazing?”
“Of course. It’s a very cute outfit and you look great in it. Did you buy it?”
“Oh no, I could never wear anything like that in public. My parents would go nuts. I just like to go in shops and try stuff like that on sometimes.”
I felt devastated for the girl. Part of me wanted to rant about her culture but another part, my more level headed side, realised that she didn’t need to hear that.
“Listen, all I can say is that you are a stunning girl and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that outfit.”
“Thanks. I know. About the outfit I mean. Not that I’m stunning.”
“You are. So there!”
We both had a little chuckle and that was that.
