I don’t know how to feel…

Today was Mother’s Day

It’s the first time in a long while time that I’ve been able to help someone financially

I gotta admit, it feels pretty good!

I just think it wasn’t enough.

This isn’t a man versus women thing

Or

A women versus man thing

From my point of view, both sides messed up in their own way.

I hate to say this but I’m personally sickened by the female species but I’m also sickened by male species.

I think I’m just sickened tired of being human.

But I understand humanity and the human ego.

I know what I’m supposed to be like, I know I’m supposed to be some strong brute with big size and combat abilities. Yet, I question what it even means to be human….

I see right through every action and wonder: “what’s the point?”

I’m not dumb, I understand humanity. I just find existence absurd.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Perhaps you need counseling.

HermannFegelein · 26-30, M

@MarkPaul That’s absolutely true. I remember getting into some argument with you. It was something childish but I appreciate that you challenged me.

I need to learn how to be human.

I hate being ashamed of being human.

I am what I am.

I hate looking down on people because I’m just as big of a fool in my own way.

My voice is weak because I haven’t used it in years.

It’s like a muscle, if you don’t use it, you lose it!

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@HermannFegelein Yes, we most likely did get into an argument. The best way to use your voice is to practise using it rather than excuse yourself for not using it. Now, learning how to be human is a whole different cup of tea... so to speak. You need self-awareness and an openness to confront what you find rather than running away from it or denying it. And, that doesn't come from practice; you just have to commit to it with no other option. Once you do that, you can then seek opportunities with your neighbours or through any social interaction really.

It's not going to be easy, but I have a feeling you will make it happen... if you really want favour it to happen. I say this because of how you summarized our previous argument. I honestly think you can do it.