It feels like it’s physically impossible to kill myself.

I like wannaI die but I also I’m like if I don’t succeed at this it’ll suck so I wanna make sure I actually die. How to make sure I actually die So I won’t have to suffer and be in the hospital

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SW-User

that feeling means you aren't ready to go. it's a primal instinct to struggle to survive. very old people lose it naturally. i hope you find what you're needing, because it's too easy to end it all when you have no fear of the potential outcome. keep reaching out.