It feels like it’s physically impossible to kill myself.

I like wannaI die but I also I’m like if I don’t succeed at this it’ll suck so I wanna make sure I actually die. How to make sure I actually die So I won’t have to suffer and be in the hospital

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cycleman · 61-69, M

I worried I'd make life more challenging if I failed doing that. So why bother thinking down that road. More challenging to find a direction that frees you from that horribleness. Took me many many yrs to do so. It ain't easy. I found giving myself in ways to others helps them but it also helps me greatly. It is yrs and yrs of little minor things that has helped me. Seeing the street friends now has me feeling better and me wanting to do more for them!