Over-kindness can sometimes be a form of people-pleasing when the main goal is to gain approval, avoid conflict, or be liked by others. In these cases, a person may ignore their own needs, struggle to say no, and constantly put others first, which can eventually lead to exhaustion or resentment. Genuine kindness, however, comes from a place of choice and personal values rather than pressure or fear of rejection. The key difference is boundaries—true kindness allows you to care for others while still respecting your own limits and well-being.

does it matter? kindness is kindness

Yes.

No not always ..if it's genuine

Bobby from Drowning Mona popped in my head, he was nice to a fault. KISS ASS!!..

Think it depends on the person some people are wired that way to be kind in all situations not wanting praise but just are kind, plus some people dont like people being nice to them lol

Hmmm

I don't think so, because even if you are kind it doesn't guarantee someone's going to be pleased or be kind back.

People pleasing isn’t the issue, lack of by boundaries is. Let people be kind.

Sure. That doesn't make it intentional, and even if it were intentional, that doesn't make it malicious.

If your “kindness” is costing your peace, energy, or self-respect, it’s not kindness—it’s self-neglect.

I don’t agree but I suppose there are people who do that

The person could be codependent and have no boundaries set in place.

Depends on the definition of "over kindness". Kindness alone has different meanings because it's subjective. What is kind to one person is not necessary kind to another.

Was Sarah kind to Joshua giving him a peanut butter sandwich, when he was a baby. Not knowing he was highly allergic to Peanuts?

Nothing wrong with wanting to be liked by others. That only becomes a problem if you’re neglecting your own needs in the process.

People overthink this. It doesn't matter.