Friend offered me money. This is after he has done something horrible against me.

I won't go into the specifics. I was unwell. I needed help and support.

He sort of devalued my life. He basically failed to understand the severity of the situation and made a very stupid shallow choice, which played into a pattern I have long struggled to accept in humans. And he was told about long ago.

He harmed me during my weakness and trust of him.

His actions were cruel.

He failed me.

And now the money offered for something else, without me asking for contributions. I laughed initially but now I am thinking it is probably because he doesn't know what to do to mend things.

Neither do I.

Apologies were not enough.

It is different now.

I hate that I can relate the present to the past so well. I hate that I can see through people and aren't shallow enough to love with simplicity. I hate that I am complicated and can both love a person and hate their actions.

They can be cruel towards me and I still care.

I think that's part of why many forget that I am just as human, bleed the same, get broken the same, give up and fail the same.

I want to forgive him but I also don't want to.

Top | New | Old

Boeing · 36-40

You cannot force forgiveness, let it dissolve naturally as a ripple in the water, Time is irrelevant, a minute or an eternity.
Hahaha who would bring these if not I to you.

I am sorry about that.

I am also relating, in loving people and still be disgusted by their behaviors, that they even fail to register at times and understand for they do not luck of intelligence, but of courage, to face their shadows.
A lack of integrity of character - but sometimes it is a lot simpler than that, it is, just as you point, a flawed human, another one, making mistakes..

Use the money and move, like you know
<3

sstronaut

The cruelty of being so intelligent and to be able to both analyze your life and the people around it, as well as the pain that comes with it 😞

It sucks that horrible things happen and that we can't make them better

Miram · 31-35, F

@sstronaut and that we are all so flawed for it to always be the case.

sstronaut

@Miram And instead of embracing those flaws, we're trapped in the society idea to try to act as if we're some kind of "normal" when it's probably more odd or rare to actually be fully normal than to be different

littlepuppywantanewlife · 31-35, M

I am really sorry for what happened. I remember many years ago a friend did something bad and it was horrible and couldn't be undone he called me 11 years later when he is married and no kids. He apologized to me. But I forgave him and I try to stay away from people as much as possible.

Edited due to personal reasons..

Miram · 31-35, F

@littlepuppywantanewlife it is okay, I read it all.

I am sorry too for how you have been treated.

Munumbis · 46-50, M

People are what they are. He'll be thart way because it's his nature.

Add a comment...