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He's been lying to me.

I have yet to bring up what I found out. I haven't seen him but I'm waiting to do it in person. I have feelings for this person but our relationship hasn't ever been defined. We've become closer now but recently I found out he's got an active Tinder account looking for a long term open to short thing thing. So that tells me he isn't looking for that long term connection with me then and it hurts. I really want to bring this up I like him so much it's hard to let go but at the same time I'm hurt like what do you want with me then? Any advice you can judge me for this but I still want to work it out. Any advice?
LadyGrace
You really answered your own question. Tell yourself the truth. The truth will set you free. There was no relationship. It hadn't even gotten a good start. And who wants to be with a liar? I know it's hard and it hurts, but now that you know who the man is, why would you want to press that and push yourself on him? I'm not saying you're a bad person. But your judgment here is only hurting yourself and I don't want to see you hurt. You're taking this much to personal. Sometimes our feelings get confused because it's not really the person that were upset about losing. Instead, it hurts because that person is not who we thought they were, nor felt what we thought they felt. No amount of hoping will change that. He just has a different need or want than you do. He's not emotionally available and the sooner you move on, the better it will be and this wanting to meet him in person is not for him and it's not for you except for you're just wanting to see him again because you miss him but that will only push him further away. Find someone who will love you as you deserve. You're a beautiful woman so go find that person who will reciprocate your love. Now you know for sure who he is and that's a good thing, so that you can move on. If he had been satisfied with the relationship with you then he would not have be looking at other women. Who wants to be around somebody that like that who's not faithful? You can never have a person like that and it shouldn't be forced. I knew somebody like that and I wouldn't have that man back if my life depended on it. I love myself more than that then to push myself on someone. Please move on so you can be happy and find that person that was meant just for you. Don't waste precious time and years on a person who is not emotionally available. You know that in your heart so listen to your heart and love yourself enough to move on. 馃尮馃
Pinkystar31-35, F
@LadyGrace Thanks, I agree but at the same time it's hard for me to let go he's all I know and the communication has never been clear between us. It's hard for me to find other men. Being a pretty hot woman men just want to sleep with me it's hard.
LadyGrace
@Pinkystar I can appreciate what you're saying but that's all the more reason to just choose wisely. Men will show you what they're after the first couple days. Just don't settle. And sometimes men tell us maybe not in words but by actions that they're not interested but we don't listen, and that's when we get hurt. It still won't work to stay with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship. And forcing that won't make things any better. It's still time to move on. It can't be that serious even now because you really don't know that person in order to be that close. Let him go. You're not losing something if you never had it to begin with and it still remains, you do not want to be with a liar. Your heart will feel better once you find another person. You just feeling the void right now but you're not a desperate person, so him go. Find somebody that is meant just for you. If he's showing signs of lying this early, this is not a person you could trust in the future so you're way better off to find that out now, than later.
Reason1061-69, M
Nothing is more effective than straight ahead talk. Some would think of it as ripping the bandaid off. Thing is, life is too short for miscommunications on such an important matter.
You HAVE to bring it up, probably after you decide for yourself if the relationship is worth continuing. Bring it up. Talk it over. Whatever happens will be quick and honest.
Life is too short.
Pinkystar31-35, F
@Reason10 Yes, I'm going to talk to him.
Filipinalez18-21, F
Sounds like he isn't ready to settle down. You're best off to move on. I'm so sorry for your hurt and pain. Message me if you need an ear or shoulder.鉂わ笍
helel22-25, F
Just ask him about it?
Pinkystar31-35, F
@helel I'm going to.
Degbeme70-79, M
I think you`re being used.
Adogslife61-69, M
You鈥檙e getting mad and hurt based on assumptions. If neither of you have spoken about your relationship, it鈥檚 simply time to do so. You鈥檇 judge your hurt from there.
Pinkystar31-35, F
@Adogslife you're right.
4meAndyouF
Your friend is a player. You're part of his play group.
Pinkystar31-35, F
@4meAndyou Thought he was more than a friend to me.
4meAndyouF
@Pinkystar Well, I am very sorry that you found out. He's hurt you. But in the end, knowing the truth is better than being one of his toys.
NorthwestM
long term open to short thing in English: I'm dangling the long term carrot, but I just want to get laid, and by the way, don't come back whining, it's not like I did not make it crystal clear, and upfront.
Pinkystar31-35, F
@Northwest He's never made it clear about what he wants with me.
NorthwestM
@Pinkystar
He's never made it clear about what he wants with me.

This is why I translated it for you to English. You're welcome. 馃槀
Pinkystar31-35, F
@Northwest I don't need translation I was only responding to your dismissive comment.
How did you find out?
Pinkystar31-35, F
@healthymess I made a fake account to see if he was on there.
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