How can you tell when someone is lying ?

@4meAndyou It takes time with some people to figure out their lying style unless you are an expert on it. My ex would lower his tone of voice and slightly grin and do a tiny scratch on his chin. Dead give away he was lying. I worked with a woman who would start lowering her voice and talk slowly and it was a give away. Some people who lie after being asked a question will tell one lie for an answer. You look at them and don’t say a word, there’s silence and they’ll keep adding and building on their lie. It happened at work with a moocher who kept asking for rides, he lived a couple miles from the job. I gave him rides and others did but it was mostly me cause I worked in the same area as he did. Another coworker said that the Baptist Church she worked for at night gave away free refurbished bikes for those who didn’t have transportation to their jobs. So after work we took him to the church and he chose a bike to fit him and I put it on the back of the car and took him home with it. A week later he asked for a ride home. I asked him outright “What happened to your bike.” He said it got a flat tire. I just looked at him and he kept adding excuses to why he didn’t get the tire fixed. Kept doing it for over 5 minutes. Like the other co-worker said he was a smoker and also liked to mooch cigarettes from the smokers after going to the smoker’s area at work. He probably hocked the bike to buy cigarettes because people stopped giving them to him. This type of thing. There is a book “[b]How to Never Be Lied To Again” [/b] that has a list of the ways people lie and I learned about 3/4 of those with my ex-husband of 10 years.

@cherokeepatti That's awful. My ex had such a poker face that I couldn't tell at all if he was lying. And he lied quite a bit.

@4meAndyou well you can tell, some of these signs are subtle. They can wear that poker face but something in the eyes can give it away. That book has a lot of valuable tips for detecting lies.

@4meAndyou for example would tell me he was going to “help” his cousin fix something or move something etc, his favorite drinking buddy) on Saturdays (as an excuse not to stay home and mow the yard or do some minor maintenance around the house or yard) and not come home till late at night drunk once again. Or tell me he was going “fishing” and coming home late at night. Would ask him where’s the fish and he would tell me he was fishing next to someone with an Asian wife and the man would get chewed out if he didn’t bring fish home, so he gave them to him to keep his wife from doing that. So thought of someone else wasn’t he? So so so nice to help that man out. But with every lie I could detect more signs that he was lying. He was an excellent teacher in that regard.

@cherokeepatti THAT stinks.

@4meAndyou After the divorce when he got his truck repo’d for being 3 months behind and eventually couldn’t even pay rent & bills by himself he moved back in with his parents. I believe he was pulling this stuff nearly every time he went to pick up our daughter twice a month for visitation. She said he would drop her off, stay a hour or so and say he had to go help his cousin. Be gone till night and probably with alcohol on his breath too. I don’t know what he did on Sundays, maybe dropped her off with someone else. Some Saturday mornings he’d come to pick her up and acted like someone had chewed on his butt good. His father could do that for much less. 😂

@cherokeepatti I might have told you already, but the 2nd ex tried to kidnap our son the first time he took him for visitation. He was like 14 months old, and he took him to a bar, and then called me and told me I was never going to see him again. 😢