Has any woman worked men out yet and are there any men who have women worked out?

@4meAndyou I tend to agree with you except the ones that realise it have already lost the best thing they had.

@Primnproper Very few of them indeed, have the brains or the depth to think beyond immediate carnal gratification.

@4meAndyou Love is by definition self defeating. It places the needs of someone else above your needs. We have love for babies and children because without that our species could not continue. Men should not expect love.

For the last ten thousand years of human history, men have fought wars, and women have often been the spoils of war. With the opposing men dead, the victors take the women and breed part of their next generation. Women adapt quicker, and grieve the loss of a partner less, because it is a biological necessity. We saw this recently with pictures and videos of Ukrainian women partying in Berlin while the casualties among their men climbed.

@4meAndyou hence men being the visual as opposed I women being the emotional.

@IronHamster What a bleak viewpoint. I don't agree. When you love someone, truly, making them happy makes YOU happy. Placing their needs above your own, momentarily, gives you joy. And that is because being with them is essential to your own happiness.

Personal needs do not need to be neglected. If your partner also loves [i] you[/i], they will try to ensure that your needs are met as well as their own.

@4meAndyou I have to say I’m behind you on this one.👍

@Primnproper I don't know if that part of it is primarily visual. I believe it is carnal. I have known men who live for what is in their pants. That's it to them. The be all and the end all.

@Primnproper Men are utilities, tools, valued for what they can provide. Woman are valued for looks and breedability.

Men that are broke don't get dates. Women wait at the finish line and pick the winners.

@IronHamster No I’m sorry I disagree. Yes there are some shallow women around of course but generally we are not checking bank balances and what car they drive it’s about connection for us not material. Most decent women do not see their partners as tools, very often they are the love of their lives and they value them tremendously.

@Primnproper A pleasant good looking young woman working the counter at McDonald's can get dates from decent guys. Women don't date guys unless they bring something to the table.

@Primnproper In support of your viewpoint, I can say that I married 3 times, and in every instance but one, they were totally broke when I met them, and I had to pay for our dates.

@IronHamster I’m sorry that simply isn’t true of the majority of women out there. If you did a survey I could pretty much guarantee the majority would not say it was the guys job, bank balance or prospects to drew them to him.

@4meAndyou same here, also all my friends and people I went to school with didn’t choose their guys based on prospects or what they could get from them.

@4meAndyou These men you eventually married...did they have a plan? Like, they are broke college students knowing they will be hired by a big corporation or have an apprenticeship lined up? None of them said they wanted to stay at home and cook you wonderful meals. Right?

@IronHamster The first man I married, I began to date while I was still in high school. He was a bi-sexual pedophile, unbeknownst to me at the time. He was a photographer, and didn't make much money, but he did have a fancy car.

The second man I married, father of my child, was working at the pet department in Sears when I met him. He had just gotten out of the Navy, and had no plans. But after we were together for about a year, he decided to study to become a steam engineer at Cambridge Electric.
He did, and then parlayed that job into nuclear engineer. Eventually, he made good money. I left him and filed for divorce when our son was 14 months old.

The third man I married worked in construction. Eventually, years in to our marriage, after becoming disabled, my son got him a job at Stream working in IT. He had to re-train, and learned how to support a call center network, eventually. Of all of them, the last two were more inclined to liking me in a conventional role. But I had to work, or we would not have been able to pay our bills. For the last two husbands, I really enjoyed cooking. But we were poor enough that single wage earner bliss was never an option.

@4meAndyou What traits attracted you to each of them?

@IronHamster The first ex was attracted to ME. I was only 17 at the time, and very silly. I was flattered. AND I thought it was wonderful that an older man was interested in me. He was 11 years older. He took me out to dinner, and I was thrilled by all of that.

The second ex was handsome. I just enjoyed looking at him. AND he was interested in me. Always a plus...🤣

The third ex had a great body from working in construction, and a handsome face, and he was a bad boy. I was incredibly drawn to the bad boy element at that time, after a few years of a boring life. He liked to party. I liked to party. I loved being with him. At the first part of being together, he was funny, and he seemed to love me. He had problems, and I helped him to solve one or two of them. Everything that seemed so easy for me to do seemed so hard for him...and I love to fix things. His family were from the Projects, and he was very ignorant...but he also had a natural intelligence. Unfortunately...all of that changed.

@4meAndyou sorry to butt in but it sounds like you had low self esteem.

@Primnproper I probably did, when I was in high school.