How Do You Feel About Catfish?

Catfishing is when someone sets up a fake online identity and uses it to trick and control others.

I pretty much assume everyone on SW is not who they say they are. As long as we're enjoying the conversation and you are not trying to control me, I have no need to find out if you are who you say you are. I feel like I am probably in the minority on this.

I am really me. It's 2024, there are a million ways to verify. I would have no problem setting up a video chat so someone could know that I'm me. But ten years ago, I was stuck in a straight relationship I couldn't be fully present in. I was overwhelmed and miserable. I needed an anonymous space where I could escape and pretend to be someone else. That became the catalyst for me figuring out who I really am.

So I get it. I have a TON of grace for people pretending to be someone they are not. But please don't confuse me playing along with thinking I believe you.

What do you think about SWeeps pretending to be someone they aren't?

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sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

Oh I remember 10 years ago so well. And my experience with you at that time has shaped my attitude toward online relationships in general. I see how EP/SW helped you find your voice and your truth. This place had real, tangible value for you. For that, I am very happy. 🙏

But yes, as you said, there are a LOT of people on here and online in general for whom the online identity does not match the IRL identity. Is this a problem? Well, I think you nailed it. Is the intent to manipulate and control people? Or is it simply to find a place to live your truth?

When I first found EP through Google searches on life and love and sexuality, I was quickly horrified by what I found. If not for a few very early friends (Beth, Kelley, others) I wouldn't have lasted a week before running for the hills. But they impressed upon me the importance of protecting myself here. And taught me skills.

So, yeah, today I don't presume that anyone is who they say they are. I take them at face value and I protect myself against manipulation. And within that framework, I make friends, like you! :)

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@sarabee1995 Yep. I don't really need to rehash that again lol. From time to time, I like to reiterate my view for folks I've been DMing with. In a way, this post is part of my strategy for protecting myself against manipulation.

A few years back, there was a someone who would take my picture, run it through a filter, and then try to pass it off that she had spend the night doing a pencil sketch of me the night before. 🙄 Like, I don't mind playing along, but that person was seriously over the top,

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@ShadowSister Oh yeah ... They are out there for sure. I've had more than my share of "incidents" ... You know that someone figured out what high school I attended back when I first joined EP, right?? Kinda scary that someone would take the time to deconstruct my posts to figure out something like that.

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@sarabee1995 I do remember that. It freaked me out when you wrote about it and got me to be a bit more careful about what I post. It's also part of why I go by my middle name on SW.

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@ShadowSister Exactly. This is a different kind of place.