How Do You Feel About Catfish?

Catfishing is when someone sets up a fake online identity and uses it to trick and control others.

I pretty much assume everyone on SW is not who they say they are. As long as we're enjoying the conversation and you are not trying to control me, I have no need to find out if you are who you say you are. I feel like I am probably in the minority on this.

I am really me. It's 2024, there are a million ways to verify. I would have no problem setting up a video chat so someone could know that I'm me. But ten years ago, I was stuck in a straight relationship I couldn't be fully present in. I was overwhelmed and miserable. I needed an anonymous space where I could escape and pretend to be someone else. That became the catalyst for me figuring out who I really am.

So I get it. I have a TON of grace for people pretending to be someone they are not. But please don't confuse me playing along with thinking I believe you.

What do you think about SWeeps pretending to be someone they aren't?

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pancakeslam · 41-45, M

if they aren't actively trying to scam someone it's kinda sus

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@pancakeslam What do you mean?

pancakeslam · 41-45, M

@ShadowSister like why would you be catfishing unless it was to steal somebody's financial info? just for attention? 😱

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@pancakeslam It was back in 2013 and it lasted only a few weeks. I was stressed out from work and stuck in the wrong marriage. I imagined, what would it feel like if I could be the out-and-proud lesbian in my 20s I had always longed to be. So I made a fake account. I wasn't really looking for attention or to fool anyone. I was just trying to experience a version of myself that I didn't feel I could be in real life. Technically I was trying to trick people, but not because I wanted something from them. It's because I wanted something different from me.

pancakeslam · 41-45, M

@ShadowSister that is not catfishing. catfishing is when you ask for others opinions on photos that arent yours clearly trying to mislead them. what you did was just create an alt. IMHO.

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@pancakeslam Hmm, good point. What do you think is the difference between an alt and a catfish?

Back in the days of EP, you could write more long-form posts, not like on SW where everything goes into the same feed. I created a whole life story, including an ex girlfriend who died from cancer and a couple of crushes who rejected me. I went all in lol. It felt a little bit like writing a book. I kind of fell in love with the character I created. Oh, and I did post a few photos that weren't mine. 😳 I'm not especially proud of that part. But there was something intoxicating about feeling young and cute.