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A reading from the American Bible, 1000 years from now

Everyone please open your Bibles to the Book of Joey From Omaha, chapter 907 verse 12:

"And Trump looked upon the land and saw it was rife with witch hunts. And lo! He was displeased!
He once again called his disciples to the Holy Rally, and spoke thusly:

'Go forth and defend me, for my ass is in real trouble this time, and thou art the only people in all the world who believeth in the Holy Alternative Facts. Do this in my name and thy reward in heaven shall great. Possibly MAGA hats at a 10% discount.'

And the faithful did as they were bidden. And Trump was pleased. And made preparations for a 10% percent markup on all future heavenly MAGA hats."

Ok everyone put your Bibles down and please stand for the grabbing of the p****.
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SW-User
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@SW-User Trump wishes he was that fit.
Just saying.
SW-User
@bijouxbroussard "Excuse me, excuse me, are you trying to say I am not buff? FAKE NEWS, stop Photoshopping your selfie with me, you should be grateful I allowed you take a Very Prestigious Selfie with me, you'll never take a selfie with anyone as important, why would you say I am not buff, why would you make up such a mean HOAX, very disgraceful, SAD, you're a nasty woman!"
@SW-User people call me all the time and say Donald your so buff. In fact your the most amazing buff guy I've ever seen. People say this to me all the time.
SW-User
@robingoodfellow they say "Donald, you're even more buff than Jared and Don Jr., I've never seen anyone in such amazing shape, what's your secret, or did the FBI remove that one too?"
@SW-User
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