I don't want to get a real job

I'm 23.
Currently on food stamps, disability, living with my parents and don't plan on getting off of anything.

When I was 18 I graduated high school and already had a job lined up. I opened a savings account and was looking at ways to build wealth. At first things were great. Unfortunately I did a lot of stupid shit and got fired. I got four other jobs and ended up getting fired. My last job was for digital marketing. They took all of my marketing suggestions than fired me. I had a nice amount of savings but then my cousin died, aunt died, grandmother had brain damage then died. At that point I decided to just give up on saving. I'm trying to rebuild but something always comes up so I can never reach my savings goals. I just don't see the point anymore.

To top that off I lost a best friend after she lied about getting into a car accident just to avoid going to the movies with me. Then inflation. Nothing goes right for me. I feel like I'm cursed. I think maybe I did something wrong in my past life and now I'm paying for the wrong I've done when I was in another life. It's hard to believe I'm a victim or this is all unfortunate circumstances.

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TinyViolins · 31-35, M Best Comment

Sounds to me like a case of 'failure to launch' syndrome. It can affect people with anxiety or depression issues more readily, and losing friends, family, and jobs can definitely do that to a person.

It's possible you might need to seek counseling or at least try some other means of working through that and processing that pain so that you can move forward with your life. Asking yourself questions like 'what caused your jobs fire you' or 'what caused your friend leave you' might help you to understand ways you can heal from these losses.

Still, part of being an adult is accepting responsibility. You can't change what happened to you, and you can't control what will happen to you down the line, but you can choose how to react. Right now it seems like you're choosing to stay down instead of getting back up again.

It's your life and if you want to go nowhere with it, that's your choice to make. But it would be an incredible waste of your potential if you spent the rest of it feeling like a victim and not doing anything to change your circumstances. There are paths out of this situation if you choose to look for them.

Here's a link that might help you get a better understanding of your current situation a little better:
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/articles/failure-to-launch-syndrome/

Woofwoof15 · 26-30, F

@TinyViolins read it. Sounds scary and like me but before I became a lazy depressed coach potato I went through a variety of painful, horrible experiences

Woofwoof15 · 26-30, F

@TinyViolins it's kinda strange that I'm having issues that men are having

TinyViolins · 31-35, M

@Woofwoof15 Well I think it's more common in men because it's rooted in our ability to socialize and build connections in the world, and women generally have better social skills than men.

But there are a lot of things that impair our ability to socialize, like traumatic experiences. I actually had that article saved a long time ago for a friend that also has trouble leaving the nest.

Traumatic experiences definitely take some time to heal. I guess it's understandable why you don't feel ready to head back out into the world. Pain doesn't just go away overnight. But all the same, you're going to have to move forward with your life at some point. You can only point to these painful memories for so long before they become an excuse instead of a reason.

I know things probably hurt a lot right now, but your life is your responsibility. Where you go from here is going to be pretty much all up to you. It seems that the best way to get your life back on track would be to work on processing these horrible experiences and finding ways to come to terms with them. No amount of laying around at home is going to change what happened.

Life knocks us all down eventually, but it's our choice whether to get back up or not

Flowerz · 36-40, F

I have some problems too and I am on disability. Life sucks sometimes. I hope things get better for you though.

JohnnySpot · 56-60, M

You're not allowed to own a house trapped in the system.

pancakeslam · 41-45, M

hurry up and see a guidance counselor

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