@Whittleisstressed well.... i don't really like seeing love as a "waiting game" because it just makes me feel like sht, like I'm just sticking around and waiting for my turn to date her... but I get what your saying tho. Something that i should've mentioned is that she's an online friend so i havent met her in person but i plan on going to visit her when i both turn 18 and get the money to. As of rn too, she's my only friend (or the only person i could comfortable call a friend) and i also love her as a friend. I don't want to lose her if we do date and things don't go well as her and I do not stay in contact with our exes. And as for the "other fish in the sea", about 95% of the people here where i live, every is a cousin, it's a small town with no paved roads and a population of like 350 last time i checked........... also, idk if that was your post i saw about your academic situation and suicidal thoughts.. but i hope things get better for you, you seem like a wonderful person