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masterofyou bless your heart, there's a lot to unpack here. What about fetlife is face to face?? Unless you agree to meet off there, it's like any other forum/social media site.
Snap is just a messaging app, people take more face pictures than tits. and like ALL social media (including fet) snap will have scammers. Maybe it's the people you add, don't fall for thirst traps idk what you're doing wrong. I feel like I'm losing brain cells continuing this convo