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Few years ago I had tried to die .

I still don't find a reason why should I live .

Parents are the reason which make me feel to end life immediately ,

I lived for some years away from them .

But I felt that they are old now , I must live with them and support them ,

but it causes me more wish to die , bearing and living with them .


Secondly , that girl whom I loved , she left . She hadn't loved any other guy yet , but she won't love me .
Maybe she might find another guy , but I still may cherish her .


Thirdly , racist people .
Today I find a portuguese guy calling Moroccan guy as Ugly brown Mthrfckr .


This racist hate is unimaginable .


Americans are expert at it , even on Sw or other social media , I had seen old people calling dark people as Terrorists , ugly , etc .

Even a white guy posted about African guy who was imprisoned by American police only because he was brown .


And the incident of a pregnant african woman who was forced to lay on ground , with her hands tied ,
and her two kids were tied as well , and they kept screaming for help for 2 hours .


I will not go to Usa , nor to Russia as well , where the Neo Nazi groups exist who Cut the throat directly of people who are not orange .


Africans invented fire , languages , architecture .
Which made apes to intellectual humans .
Still white race is superior ?
Arabs invented physics ,
Others invented Mathematics , Surgery , etc .

Europeans only compiled all the things to make technology of today .


But still white race is superior .

And it is in danger .
Hence Hitler , Bush , Biden , Putin exist .



Racism doesn't work well , they hate every race , except chinese .
China is the father of Europeans .




How can I live in this world of racism .
But I not wish to be white as well , no matter how much Europeans try to change the history , even Genetic evidence tells that all humans stem from Africans .



And girlfriend who doesn't love me , I only wish she live a happy life , even if she love other person .


And trying to be a responsible son to old parents , not know how can I be responsible towards self as well ?
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Sorry.. not everyone is racist tho.. there are people who genuinely love and care for everyone

But of course there are others who are hateful and misguided and ignorant and arrogant and its a disappointment and aggravation to others at best and cruelty at worst