I Used to Be a Drug Addict
And I've been clean for a good while. But the benzos. That siren song is singing off in the distance. The opiates are begging me to let them take the pain away.
36-40, M
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Tatsumi · 31-35, M
Me too. Except i never liked benzos. No euphoria, for me. Just made me blackout. 'Course, that is an appeal to some people. I once knew this girl at N.A. Her boyfriend died, and she was a true wreck over it. Benzos were her doc. I wondered if choice of drug suggests the reason for doing them. For instance, preferring benzos must mean--I thought--that one wished to forget something. Or everything.
I cant imagine withdrawal from benzos. Supposed to be worse than heroin, right. Alcohol and benzos are the only drugs you can die from when you stop taking them. The hardest i did was morphine. That sucked, but I'm glad i never got hooked on benzos.
But. I will suggest kratom. I've been using it for 4 years, now. Which is also how long i haven't used drugs. Used it to get off morphine, then started using it sort of like maintenance. Ironically, it seemed to cure whatever "clinical depression" I had, as well as nearly eliminating my desire to use other drugs. It took some experimentation and mistakes, but i can gladly say that addiction to this plant has helped my life tremendously--and, it has helped me become the most healthy ive ever been: psychologically, physically, spiritually. And probably saved it.
Minimal side effects, though it is a mostly unresearched plant. No recorded deaths, when not mixed with other drugs. Though, some studies suggest liver damage when used over a long period. Used for some-odd-millennia in South-East Asia. Opiate-like effects, except with an effect ceiling: meaning, O.D. is impossible. Cross tolerance with opiates, as it acts on the same receptors; meaning, it's perfect for opiate withdrawal. Though, its not an opiate.
It is addictive, to varying extents for different people. Its quite addictive, for me. Physical withdrawal in my height of usage were about half as bad as morphine wd. But, i was also taking like 2-3 ounces a day--a ludacris amount. Though, not unheard of. My current intake is 14-18 grams per day, which I've maintained for around a year. Tolerance builds very slowly. I don't increase my dosage for months. Once i notice i start taking more, i do a tolerance break--half dosage for a week--whoch still sucks, but not that bad. Then I'm good for another 3-6 months.
Its in the coffee family. It's illegal in the U.K., as of last year, unfortunately. And the D.E.A. is trying to ban it; but, luckily, their emergency ban didn't go through, thanks to the kratom community. Hopefully we can keep it legal.
Kratom is a miracle herb, for me. Perhaps it could be, for you. I'd suggest red boreno or red sumatra. Though, many like green bali. Ah. Theres red, white, and green strains. Red is sedating; white is stimulating; green is sorta inbetween. It wont get you high, per se, but it is a very pleasant effect. Stay away from extracts. It'll fuck your tolerance, and your wallet. Plain leaf only.
Starting dose should be 1 gram, to test. Wait one hour. Then dose again, 1g. My dosage is 4-6 grams, and i have a pretty big tolerance. So, dont go overboard. Capsules are best, as the tea tastes like shite. Bitter af. Note: this also makes it easier to abuse, so use caution. Ideally, one would only use it 3-4 tomes a week. But, as far as addiction goes, this is no biggie. Must be taken on empty stomach. 2-4 hours after a meal. Sometimes 6-8, depending on the type of food eaten.
G'luck, fellow ex-junkie. I recommend buying a kilo for $75, on tuesdays, at tauntonbaysoapcompany. Very good price, good quality. Though, feel free to try less. Ah. Dont buy from places that will mar kratom's name or equivocate it to bath salts or some other dangerous research chemicals. E.g. smoke shops or websites that use "fantastic bubbly Dragon" or other bullshit for names. We want kratom to stay legal, because it can help a great many people like you and i. It's medical potential is paramount, i claim.
Bikhuk is also great, but they have difficulty shipping to the U.S., at times.
I cant imagine withdrawal from benzos. Supposed to be worse than heroin, right. Alcohol and benzos are the only drugs you can die from when you stop taking them. The hardest i did was morphine. That sucked, but I'm glad i never got hooked on benzos.
But. I will suggest kratom. I've been using it for 4 years, now. Which is also how long i haven't used drugs. Used it to get off morphine, then started using it sort of like maintenance. Ironically, it seemed to cure whatever "clinical depression" I had, as well as nearly eliminating my desire to use other drugs. It took some experimentation and mistakes, but i can gladly say that addiction to this plant has helped my life tremendously--and, it has helped me become the most healthy ive ever been: psychologically, physically, spiritually. And probably saved it.
Minimal side effects, though it is a mostly unresearched plant. No recorded deaths, when not mixed with other drugs. Though, some studies suggest liver damage when used over a long period. Used for some-odd-millennia in South-East Asia. Opiate-like effects, except with an effect ceiling: meaning, O.D. is impossible. Cross tolerance with opiates, as it acts on the same receptors; meaning, it's perfect for opiate withdrawal. Though, its not an opiate.
It is addictive, to varying extents for different people. Its quite addictive, for me. Physical withdrawal in my height of usage were about half as bad as morphine wd. But, i was also taking like 2-3 ounces a day--a ludacris amount. Though, not unheard of. My current intake is 14-18 grams per day, which I've maintained for around a year. Tolerance builds very slowly. I don't increase my dosage for months. Once i notice i start taking more, i do a tolerance break--half dosage for a week--whoch still sucks, but not that bad. Then I'm good for another 3-6 months.
Its in the coffee family. It's illegal in the U.K., as of last year, unfortunately. And the D.E.A. is trying to ban it; but, luckily, their emergency ban didn't go through, thanks to the kratom community. Hopefully we can keep it legal.
Kratom is a miracle herb, for me. Perhaps it could be, for you. I'd suggest red boreno or red sumatra. Though, many like green bali. Ah. Theres red, white, and green strains. Red is sedating; white is stimulating; green is sorta inbetween. It wont get you high, per se, but it is a very pleasant effect. Stay away from extracts. It'll fuck your tolerance, and your wallet. Plain leaf only.
Starting dose should be 1 gram, to test. Wait one hour. Then dose again, 1g. My dosage is 4-6 grams, and i have a pretty big tolerance. So, dont go overboard. Capsules are best, as the tea tastes like shite. Bitter af. Note: this also makes it easier to abuse, so use caution. Ideally, one would only use it 3-4 tomes a week. But, as far as addiction goes, this is no biggie. Must be taken on empty stomach. 2-4 hours after a meal. Sometimes 6-8, depending on the type of food eaten.
G'luck, fellow ex-junkie. I recommend buying a kilo for $75, on tuesdays, at tauntonbaysoapcompany. Very good price, good quality. Though, feel free to try less. Ah. Dont buy from places that will mar kratom's name or equivocate it to bath salts or some other dangerous research chemicals. E.g. smoke shops or websites that use "fantastic bubbly Dragon" or other bullshit for names. We want kratom to stay legal, because it can help a great many people like you and i. It's medical potential is paramount, i claim.
Bikhuk is also great, but they have difficulty shipping to the U.S., at times.
SW-User
Don't go back to it. Get out and go outside, go for a walk or something. Don't do it. You know you need to not do it.