I haven't used in a week that's something I suppose. Am I cranky? You bet I am.

The worst has passed but I've been pretty crabby ontop of feeling lost and empty. You see this is why I relapse because I can't fill that emptiness. I think I do but it's not the right thing whatever that thing is I'm searching for and before you know it I'm back at square one again. I guess it's a victory to have stopped shooting up but the cynic in me is saying let's see how long it lasts or enjoy while it lasts you know how you are.

The funny part of it all is that a photo made me put my foot down and quit. It was a selfie of sorts taken lords know where because I don't remember. I think it was from bar hopping because my mouth was bleeding and on that night I did fall. Regardless I looked out of it. I looked like some sad zombie. I can't even tell you why I looked so sad. Seeing that got me thinking about everything drugs have taken from me and every opportunity I squandered because of them.

I don't know what's going to happen to me or whats next.