I went for a run on the treadmill today, made it a mile and a half.
It's not much, but it's only work. I'm gonna have to wait five months to get my laser hair work conservatively, so I've been thinking about what to do in the meantime. I've kinda let myself go lately, I'm up to 150 pounds again and yeah at this weight, I visibly have a stomach. It's weird how that's the only place it really concentrates, I guess it's fatty liver or whatever. I was looking in the mirror just before my shower, and I saw that, the chest hair (which I'm too lazy to shave), and the bruising on my chest. Honestly I think bruising can be cute, but not when it's yellow like that.
But what sorta depressed me was... the bone structure problem. I have pretty wide shoulders, a wide ribcage, I'm just a wide person. And I have little twiggy arms, which I mean I COULD change in principle, but the energy required to lift regularly is above what i'm capable of mustering up. I think what I really hate is the really low arm width/trunk width ratio, but also it kinda just makes me look fatter than I actually am. I wish I could get surgery to just close my ribs in tighter; idk if that exists but I'd totally sign on for that if I had the cash.
I dunno, I look awful. Wanted to go to this really cool conservationist club, but turns out they don't have one within practical driving distance, which sucks. Gonna have to figure out something else. I gotta order ingredients for a healthy snack that I like to make, but I've been putting off shopping bc for some reason it just feels intimidating.
Oh yeah, I bought a big-ass muscle rack so I won't have to keep my floor littered with items. Finally being able to put stuff away will be such a welcome change. <3
But what sorta depressed me was... the bone structure problem. I have pretty wide shoulders, a wide ribcage, I'm just a wide person. And I have little twiggy arms, which I mean I COULD change in principle, but the energy required to lift regularly is above what i'm capable of mustering up. I think what I really hate is the really low arm width/trunk width ratio, but also it kinda just makes me look fatter than I actually am. I wish I could get surgery to just close my ribs in tighter; idk if that exists but I'd totally sign on for that if I had the cash.
I dunno, I look awful. Wanted to go to this really cool conservationist club, but turns out they don't have one within practical driving distance, which sucks. Gonna have to figure out something else. I gotta order ingredients for a healthy snack that I like to make, but I've been putting off shopping bc for some reason it just feels intimidating.
Oh yeah, I bought a big-ass muscle rack so I won't have to keep my floor littered with items. Finally being able to put stuff away will be such a welcome change. <3
