I want to work on myself but IDK where to even start

I wish I wasn't so quick to anger and irritable
I wish I didn't care what people think of me because I can't help walking in a room full of people and hearing laughter and NOT think it isn't about me
I wish I wasn't so thinned skin and overly sensitive
I wish I could speak up and not be terrified of crowds and criticisms
I wish I was more patient and not be so hard on myself

I wish I didn't feel disgust and shame when I look in the mirror
I wish I had even one person that truly understands me
I wish I didn't feel so hopeless and worthless all the time
I wish this anxiety didn't control me as much it did