I Am Working On Myself
Sometimes i feel like im addicted to another person.
Ok guys here's my short story. I am a musician girl who's hardely trying to find her place in this crazy crazy world.
Almost a year ago i met this guy whos very nice to me, caring and sensitive.
It all seems to go very well, i would actually say i have nothing to complain about.
But why do i keep feeling like someting is not going the way it should?
Sometimes i get too feel like things MUST go wrong, like there cant be a chance for me to find my peace and finally say "Yes Im Damn Happy". I come from a family that has found its balance after a long time and now and then i get too feel that instability has taken over me that when things go well i need to find the dark side of the thing.
I love this guy whos with me, but when i get to those moments i feel like he would abandone me and change his mind and thats where i start to feel bad.
Sometimes i feel like i get addicted to him, like i cant do anything else than working on our story and trying to overcome my fears. I know i have trust troubles, due to my old problems, but i really really really want to be that better person whos not always scared about anything in this couple. He's a musican too so sometimes he will get to leave for a while just like i will do, he has kind of the same fears about me but he makes his control them and make those fears look lighter. I can't.
I feel so bad about this, im afraid i will never ever trust someone who deserves my love, im afraid i will always be afraid to be cheated on.
And some days all of these thoughts get to stop me from doing anything and all i feel like doing is crying and being mad at me.
I know very well what's wrong with me and i really do hope to be balanced as soon as possibile to be that nice person i used to be, that nice person who would help people to find their serenity, and look at the positive side of everthing.
This year has been a big year for me, i made a lot of changes, i broke up with my ex who i lived together (this happened like a year and a bit more than half ago, and now im with this guy since march 2017), changed place and settled down somewhere else, 2 of my best friends and one who was like a second mother for me, they turned their back to me, they said i was too focused on my goals and didnt like my choises, i still feel bad about this... i think everyone need to fight to find its place in this world and thats what i was doing, trying to grow out as a woman. They didnt like this, i think they would want me to stay there, have fun and spend time with them having fun blablabla.
I had to face to a lot of changes in my life, which few of those are completely positive, but still changes.
ALl im trying to say is that i would really want to grow out as a stronger woman, as a better person and overcome all of these fears that stop me from being a bright person and bring positivity in my life.
Has this ever happen to any of you?
Ok guys here's my short story. I am a musician girl who's hardely trying to find her place in this crazy crazy world.
Almost a year ago i met this guy whos very nice to me, caring and sensitive.
It all seems to go very well, i would actually say i have nothing to complain about.
But why do i keep feeling like someting is not going the way it should?
Sometimes i get too feel like things MUST go wrong, like there cant be a chance for me to find my peace and finally say "Yes Im Damn Happy". I come from a family that has found its balance after a long time and now and then i get too feel that instability has taken over me that when things go well i need to find the dark side of the thing.
I love this guy whos with me, but when i get to those moments i feel like he would abandone me and change his mind and thats where i start to feel bad.
Sometimes i feel like i get addicted to him, like i cant do anything else than working on our story and trying to overcome my fears. I know i have trust troubles, due to my old problems, but i really really really want to be that better person whos not always scared about anything in this couple. He's a musican too so sometimes he will get to leave for a while just like i will do, he has kind of the same fears about me but he makes his control them and make those fears look lighter. I can't.
I feel so bad about this, im afraid i will never ever trust someone who deserves my love, im afraid i will always be afraid to be cheated on.
And some days all of these thoughts get to stop me from doing anything and all i feel like doing is crying and being mad at me.
I know very well what's wrong with me and i really do hope to be balanced as soon as possibile to be that nice person i used to be, that nice person who would help people to find their serenity, and look at the positive side of everthing.
This year has been a big year for me, i made a lot of changes, i broke up with my ex who i lived together (this happened like a year and a bit more than half ago, and now im with this guy since march 2017), changed place and settled down somewhere else, 2 of my best friends and one who was like a second mother for me, they turned their back to me, they said i was too focused on my goals and didnt like my choises, i still feel bad about this... i think everyone need to fight to find its place in this world and thats what i was doing, trying to grow out as a woman. They didnt like this, i think they would want me to stay there, have fun and spend time with them having fun blablabla.
I had to face to a lot of changes in my life, which few of those are completely positive, but still changes.
ALl im trying to say is that i would really want to grow out as a stronger woman, as a better person and overcome all of these fears that stop me from being a bright person and bring positivity in my life.
Has this ever happen to any of you?
